Thank You, 2010.

The clock is ticking to the end of the year and the beginning of something new. 2010 is so close to my heart. It brought us our son. It brought us the roller coaster journey of emotions that bringing us our son entailed. It was a year of personal journey as I juggled with who I was with just the two of us and then how I've transformed with the three of us. It was a year of decisions and the indecisiveness I always fight to come to a conclusion.

Here are my most memorable moments of 2010...

1. Seeing Gadisa's face light up and the biggest smile come across it the moment we looked at each other. I will never, ever, ever forget that sight and the emotions that flooded with it.

2. Watching my grandfather pass. I never saw him as often as I would have liked, but I am grateful to have been there when he moved on, surrounded by my extended familia. It was the way it was supposed to be.

3. A warm, summer evening giggling on a park bench in Rome with my husband and eating gelato. I knew when it was happening that I was in love with that moment.

4. Running through a downpour of rain with my oldest, closest friends after spending an evening enjoying them. I heart my friends!

5. The countless, slow summer days of sitting on the porch in my favorite rocking chair with my son swinging beside me completely happy with where I was.

I decided to extend my blogging experience to this new location. www.morningsparrow.com

Morning Sparrow is a new adventure of sharing for me. I wanted to expand beyond adoption blogging and well....just chat about whatever, whenever without having any topic boundaries.

I plan to still update this blog with all things Oliver Gadisa, adoption and our adventures, but with Morning Sparrow I hope to evolve into all sorts of things. It's really outside of my comfort level as I went back and forth on how much to share and why. Just starting this adoption blog was a big jump into letting walls down. I tend to be more private than blogging permits, but it's been good to just let it all flow out. In the end, writing is therapeutic for me and that won out all insecurities. So here I am. We'll see where it goes.

I hope the New Year brings you adventures, blissfulness and happiness galore. Happy New Year to you!

What a difference

Last year...last Christmas, I was anxiously awaiting a magical phone call from our adoption agency. I had a tiny glimmer of hope that they would surprise us on Xmas Day with THE phone call that we had a child. That call never came that day and I was disappointed.

This year, we spent the day with this little guy.

A long, slow, happy day with the 3 of us. Our first Christmas together. Our new tradition of spending Christmas day together in our house. We opened presents and sat around drinking coffee in our pajamas for most of the day. I feel overly grateful this Christmas. My family is together...happy and healthy. What a difference a year makes.

I hope all of you had a very relaxing, enjoyable Christmas with the ones that are the dearest to you. I hope you had a moment to stop, slow down and just be. Happy Holidays!

Swish, Swish, Swish

The other morning as I'm trying hard to get a few more minutes of sleep, I hear Josh get up and go into Ollie's room to get him up. I can hear through the baby monitor all this commotion as they greet each other for the day. Then, I keep hearing a "swish, swish" type sound. For the life of me, I can not figure out what that is. Swish, swish, swish....and then walks in G and Dad. Ta da! A super cheesy, 90's era Kansas University jumpsuit. I laughed and laughed. Perfect way to start a day! This outfit is courtesy of a summer garage sale item found by my sister. Too good to pass up. I need a matching one for Josh.

We celebrated the Hunt family Xmas this weekend. It was a costume Xmas and here is our little Jayhawk. I promise...he will get other options for costumes of his choosing as he gets older. ;)

I can't believe Christmas is this week! I'm looking forward to a very mello Christmas day with Gadisa. We decided to start our family tradition of spending Christmas day at our house instead of going out of town anywhere. We aren't going too overboard with his gifts, but we did have fun going shopping for him. Generally, we have the last 2 weeks of the year off from work off, but I'm still home with G for now on an extended maternity leave and Josh is working on some big festivals for the spring/summer already so he will be working as usual. I'm just thankful for the business so as long as I can steal Josh away for some 1/2 days I'm happy.

A big catch up

Hello, blog land. A big "oops" on my part for my lack of posting over the last month. I really have no excuse other than lack of creativity. It happens. So, let's get started!

HALLOWEEN...

G was an Ewok for Halloween this year. And let me just tell you, he was absolutely adorable!

THE BIG BIRTHDAY...

Oliver Gadisa Lyric turned 1 on November 10. We celebrated with a small family dinner at Nana's house and some sugar free homemade icing, which was a HUGE hit with him. I was both a little sad and extremely overjoyed to celebrate. My mind wandered to his birth mama and what she was going through a year ago that day. I can't believe he's now a toddler and milestones are coming fast. He's not walking yet, but will be so any moment. He has taken his first steps, however! He's testing us daily and thinks it's hilarious that we chase after him when he starts to go up the stairs or when he makes a mad crawling dash for the lamp cord. "No!" is just a laughing factor for him. Can't wait till the teenage years! ;)

BIG BOY...

And just because he's so darn cute...here is my little man, being all big sitting in the shopping cart. No more baby car seat for him. He loves sitting in the shopping cart and sitting in big boy highchairs at restaurants.

THANKSGIVING...

This year we have so much to be thankful for. G is in our lives. He's happy, he's healthy and he is oh-so funny. Most recently, we really were tested on how much family truly means to us. This past week we rushed down to Springfield, Mo when we got a call about Josh's dad having a heart attack. We spent all week there and feel so fortunate and blessed that his dad pulled through. Turns out his heart just stopped and he was 100% on his way out. We are thankful for technology that helped save his life. We are thankful his wife was there to help save his life. We are thankful for the wonderful care he is getting at the hospital. We are thankful more than words can describe that he is still with us today. We were told he had a 5% chance of surviving. No matter how busy we are in our daily lives, sometimes things are just out of our hands and when we loose control all we have is each other. Family, friends and the insanity and love that comes with it all. I feel blessed and full. :)

Here is just perfect

I still find it hard to believe we are in this chapter of our lives. I still can't believe little whines or giggles wake me in the morning. We waited a long time. We waited until we were ready and the universe waited until he was ready and somehow that all happened to be the perfect timing. I still can't believe we are his and he is ours. Four months later...I still have a hard time believing we are here.

Sunshine Bliss

His whines were from boredom and I was happy he reminded me we needed some sunshine.

Cutting the crap

To do lists are never ending and mine is always excessive. We have a high maintenance lifestyle with our business and household (the 3 dogs and 2 cats definitely have something to do with it) and the projects and daily life tasks are never ending. Now that I'm home for the time being, I am able to really start crossing off this big ol' to do list. In looking at it daily, I have begun to realize how much of it is crap. Crap that I really don't need to do, don't need to have or shouldn't have gotten so out of hand in the first place (over stuffed linen closet, I'm talking to you!). Excessiveness. Clutter. Too many appointments and too little time or desire to keep them. Kindness is the reason I have kept them, but does it REALLY matter? I have decided it does not. I would rather spend my time visiting a baby on his first day of life (Welcome, Griffin!) or sending well wishes to friends leaving for Ethiopia to bring home their son (so excited for the Lovins!). I am encouraged by these moments to make life more simplistic where I can.

So, this Friday morning I am cutting the crap out of our lives. One by one, I am canceling this subscription, that service, this appointment, that membership and so on. And it feels GLORIOUS! Just glorious!

Balance

It seems like it's getting harder and harder to keep up the blog. G has me so busy because he's so mobile now. But, here is what we've been up to...Fall is here. The house is cold. The porch is bare. The plants are inside. I'm bundled up in sweaters and scarves already. It's actually colder in our house than outside.

He got his first major boo boo. I cried longer than he did. Probably because I felt so bad and couldn't catch him in time as his head hit the floor. He is pulling himself up on everything and sometimes just looses his balance.

I swear he's grown an inch in 2 weeks. His clothes are getting smaller and he's looking more like a toddler by the minute. We're struggling with some sort of reflux issue he has as he stills throws up a lot after eating and we've been seeing a chiropractor for him, but at this point I think we're going to add in some medication for him as well.

We have found a babysitter! This was a big one for us. It's so hard to like someone enough to leave your child with them. Anyways, we are thrilled with our choice and this makes me feel so secure that he is in good hands for a night out. We started our date nights last week and I couldn't remember the last time we went to a movie.

He's been around more people lately and I can see the small changes in his comfort level adjusting to new people. He likes to go out and about and see the world. I often wonder where that adventurous side will take him in life. He'll be 11 months in a few days. It is just flying by so quickly. Daily I thank the stars for being able to be home with him right now. I get lost in thought a lot about when that will change and if I will be ready for it to change when it does. And, do I WANT it to change? I never thought I would stay at home. I guess I never gave it much thought. I was supposed to go back to work in August and then August came and went and I wasn't ready. I wasn't done getting to know him and catching up on the lost time of not knowing him. What I cared about before doesn't have that priority in my life anymore. Our days at home are smoother and slower with me being here. I get to know Josh again because we don't sit around and talk about work 90% of the time. I don't really get bored. I am always finding something to keep me busy. I think about balance a lot these days. Maintaining myself and my role as a mother is a new challenge that I stumble over each day, not quite knowing where I land. However, the newness perhaps of it all is starting to dissipate as I get better at it each day. Being the organized gal that I am, we have set up mornings where we trade off on who gets him up, dressed and fed that morning. When I have the morning "off", I am able to sit down for a moment and drink my coffee and just BE. I really missed that these last few months. Morning is my favorite time of the day. When my morning moment is over, I anxiously run back downstairs and lay kisses over G's fat little cheeks. I hear his giggle and see his smile and then graciously accept what motherhood has brought to me and remember that balance is always going to be a daily struggle and to just live the moments more.

Story Telling

G expressed a slight interest in books the other day...

So, we experienced our first story time at the public library. Big thanks to Joanna for the suggestion!

Luckily it's only 30 minutes for this age group, which is perfect because at precisely the 22 minute mark the melt downs began spreading around the room. I so enjoyed today with Gadisa. Granted, he only napped for 40 minutes total today when he usually naps for 3 hours. I have no idea how he kept going all day, but we had a great time together today. Being out and about, getting cooed over by college girls, staying out much later than normal then getting slap happy because he was so delirious from exhaustion. And the laundry that I do on Wednesdays each week...sits next to the washer unfinished. I wouldn't have it any other way!

I wrote his name on his name tag at story time and it got me thinking about his name. Having a birth name and a name we have given him is really confusing. He's always been Gadisa to us since he was referred, but I absolutely love the name Oliver. It's such a strong, classic, beautiful name and I want to use it more. Do I introduce him as Gadisa or as Oliver? I have done both and then have to go into the whole "Well, his full name is Oliver Gadisa Lyric...Gadisa is his Ethiopian name"...and that whole deal. I feared this would happen with naming him. I suppose it will just be one of those things we get used to, but will always confuse everyone else. Still, I think I will use Oliver more so he becomes accustomed to both. Sorry, G...that's what happens when you have an indecisive mama. Poor kid!

Lucky

Behind our house lies a field that we've adopted as our own.

A little bit of country nestled in the middle of town.

Evening walks.

Silly, happy dogs.

Sunsets over the trees.

Quietness hidden from most.

Coyotes howl and sometimes their young ones cry into the night.

Late summer sunflowers.

Fall morning dew.

A little bit of serenity in only a few steps.

Photos

I've got new photos to post. G is getting hard to take photos of because he's so squirmy and all over the place. He's crawling and getting very fast. Even more exciting, he's dancing! He busts a move all the time. He has quite the little moves too I must say. He is getting a great sense of humor and we are full of giggles making faces at each other and funny noises. He especially thinks it's hilarious to laugh at mom when she jumps up to get things. I mean a full belly moving laugh. And trust me when you're 5'0 tall there is a LOT of jumping to do. :)

A crisp, cool morning of porch and coffee time. A hoodie and some socks...what more could you ask for?

I think he loves the new floors and so does his mama! And look at that hair! It's growing so fast.

One of my favorite moments with my son is when he falls asleep in the sling. He is so angelic and precious and I savor these moments forever. Sometimes I just let him sleep here for awhile before I lay him down. I wonder if I can fit him in here when he's 10?

We were making faces at each other during breakfast one morning. Look at that face! I love it.

What have we gotten ourselves into?

So, after many years of longing for beautiful wood floors our time has come to have them installed. I am so excited and can't wait to see them! However, I am not excited about this:

This is what our house looks like right now. The installers came on Tuesday and told us that because of the rain that morning that the install wouldn't be able to be done that day. Something about the wood material and the moisture in the air. They asked "The store told you there would be a possiblity of this, right?" Um...NO! So, we have this situation until Sunday. No furniture to sit on and no floor for Gadisa to play and crawl on in our main living areas. So we are spending much of our time on the front porch and adventuring out throughout town. We spent the majority of the time while the installers were pulling up the carpet looking at each other with that look of "What have we gotten ourselves into!" Oh well, I'm sure it will be worth it when the project is done. Thank god the weather has cooled off a little so we can venture out for walks. Come on Sunday...get here soon!

A week of firsts

It's been a busy week with me and my sidekick. We've had some firsts. My favorite was our first time actually hanging out downtown with just the two of us. We live in a college town that has the cutest downtown area. It's a small town feeling as you walk down Massachusetts St. Generally, you see familiar faces in each journey out and about. First we hit a coffee shop. This was a big deal to me. I hadn't been venturing out much to partake in society, mainly because it's too freakin' hot to go outside and also because I get wrapped up in my own little world at home and forget to touch base with the rest of the world. I had forgotten how amazingly wonderful it is to just sit in a coffee shop with no agenda at all. Anyways, there we were mother and son. Enjoying my coffee, people watching and just being out and about while G focused deeply on a muffin. Granted it's a scene that can only last 20 minutes tops with a 9 month that gets bored easily, but I was glad we experienced it. We then ventured over to the fabric store, which is more like a fabric boutique. I love this store. It's huge windows with all the natural light flowing in and it's creaky, old wood floors. Rows and rows of draped fabric....I could go on and on... I wanted badly to take some photos of all the beautiful fabric, but my hands were full with my little man. He fell fast asleep against me as I browsed through the aisles looking for the right fabric for his highchair cushion I was making. It was a rainy, summer morning and I loved spending every second of it with my son. I find myself often wishing he was older so he could converse with me as we sit there watching the rest of the world. Then, I remind myself how quickly he will be and I snap back into knowing how important it is to live in the now.

The next big first is all Gadisa's. He has developed an intense and a little disturbing addiction (somewhat similar to my addiction to Gummy Bears and frozen pizza). He has discovered Puffs. You know, those little baby cereal things that dissolve in their mouths? I mean his obsession with these things could lead us to an intervention. He flips out over them! I find myself making a tire screeching U turn if I've figured out I've left the house with out any Puffs in the diaper bag! But hey, we all have our weaknesses, right?

And lastly, the main big first is what I walked into when I went to pick him up after a long afternoon slumber. There with a big ol' grin on his face was Gadisa standing up in his crib. We are now pulling ourself up and standing!! It all begins....
By the way, I swear I really do put clothes on my child! :)

Sponsorship

We started sponsoring Emmanuel (Uganda, 9 years old) and Joyce (Zambia, 8 years old) 3 years ago. We wanted to help. We wanted to do SOMETHING and know exactly where our help was going and to whom. So, I Googled about this and found out we can sponsor children and get regular updates on how they are doing. This has touched me so much. In the beginning, I would tear up every single time a letter and photo would arrive with an update. The letters written by siblings or a parent letting us know how our financial help was directly affecting their family. Now, I smile so big and brightly when I see a piece of mail from Africa. I'm excited to rip open the envelope, no longer sad about their situation, but instead anxious to see how they are doing.

Emmanuel's family buying first a goat, then a pig, then chickens and then a bull to help raise money themselves to support the family. Joyce's family buying a blanket, a BED!, simple necessities like dishes and mosquito nets. SIMPLE NECESSITIES that we go to Target for in a quick trip in our air conditioned vehicles. I am overjoyed that we can help, to do anything to make someone's life easier. To be able to make someone's life healthier. We are so fortunate to live the life we live and I just want to install in Gadisa that if you have something and you are standing on your own two feet, then reach out and help someone stand on theirs. I am humbled by the strength I see in Emmanuel and Joyce's families. For I do not have strength like they do. I wanted so badly to visit them while we were in Africa, but traveling between the countries was too dangerous and costly to be able to make it happen.

In September, our sponsorship of Emmanuel will end. World Vision is pulling out of his region as they have met their goals for his community and they now can support themselves. This is fantastic, but this is also sad. We have written many letters and received many pictures of him. For my own selfish reasons, I do not want to end our communication. I want to know how he's doing, how he's growing but, I know that meeting the goals of the sponsorship is the whole point of it. How wonderful it really is to see a community that once needed dire assistance to now have schools, health facilities and education to support itself. Perhaps Emmanuel will still stay in touch with us as he grows into a young man. We will always remember him and smile when we see his photos sitting on our shelves at home.

I always think it would be so amazing if everyone that could, would sponsor a child. It makes the biggest difference in their lives. However, I know there are a lot of causes in the world to support. You choose what works for you if that's the case. I don't want to preach or judge...but maybe slightly encourage. :) The feeling of being able to help someone live a quality of life that they have a right to live is beyond happiness.

We will be sponsoring another child after September and once Gadisa is old enough to understand sponsorship we would like to have him have a sponsorship with a child his age. The $22 a month it takes to sponsor Joyce and the $35 a month to sponsor Emmanuel made a difference. And, that's all we could ever ask for.

If you are interested in sponsorship, the organizations we do this through our

World Vision (Emmanuel) and Children International (Joyce).

My boys

Gadisa is 9 months old today! Just like everyone told me it would, it's going by so fast.

So, for his 9 month bday I thought I would share a little something about him and his dad.

Gadisa absolutely adores Josh. Josh can get him to giggle and squeal so much more than I can.

I adore sitting on the sidelines watching them learn things about each other and bond. They talk about sports, they listen to music...they hang out and be boys together. In the fall, Gadisa will learn a new side of his dad...Football Dad, then that will slowly transition to College Basketball Dad and then come spring/summer again, Kickball Dad. Yes, dear blog readers, my husband is a sports addict (football, soccer, college basketball, tennis, ...if competitive puzzle putting together was on TV he'd be into it). In the beginning it was not as existent as it is now. I tell him I was tricked! Now, I know it is what it is. I tell Josh that Gadisa does not like watching ESPN (insert the very annoying ESPN theme music here) and that he wants to watch the Lifetime and WE channels. Strange, he does not believe me.

So, anyways...here we are. A little family of 3. Just me and my boys. Happy 9 months, G! xoxo.

Mama Friends

I am thankful for my Mama Friends. Friends that know exactly what you are going through because they've been there, done that. They get you when you vent, when you share how much you love your child, when you doubt your decisions in parenting and they are there with advice and suggestions. Mama friends are part of my village of support in raising our son. Thank you to all those wonderful ladies that told me to be happy, be REALLY really happy that he is attaching to me and starting to express he wants his mama a lot. And I really am. You are all right. I will not worry about whether he attaches to family or friends. That will come with time. When HE is ready, not me. To all my mama friends out there, I love you all!

Challenges

Somehow my blog background disappeared, but that just gave me a reason to go searching for a new one. Fine by me, as I get bored with the same design if it's up there awhile.

The last week has been full of parenting challenges for us as Gadisa transitions and changes. In the time he has been with us, we haven't had much of a schedule because we have been adjusting to just being parents and getting to know everything about our son. We didn't have a set bedtime or a nap routine. So, we've been working on that and on his end, it is not met with much excitement. I know it will get easier as we stick with it, but he is not pleased to not be the one that bosses us around anymore. He's also getting very clingy to me. I was so happy that he would let anyone hold him and didn't seem to mind new people. Now, he starts to bury his head into my shoulder out of shyness when seeing someone he doesn't know well. And holding him? Forget that. He seems to just want his parents right now. Well, mainly his mama. I know I should be so happy he's bonding with us, but I really did want him to be comfortable with family and friends. Maybe it's a phase. I know I shouldn't stress about it. Kids go through different adjustment periods of attachment. He's been going through some serious fussy/upset moments throughout the day lately. You know, that kind of "I'm so mad I'm going to arch my back and throw myself around so you can barely hold onto me" kind of moment. These are so not fun. Especially when they happen in his highchair when I'm trying to feed him. He is teething so maybe that's part of the issue on top of his schedule changing. Whatever it is, it's a little frustrating to not be able to make him happy right away. And, then those big, HUGE tears come rolling down his face and I just can't stand to watch those. As Josh pointed out today when I was telling him nothing was making him happy except me holding him, he reminded me that this little guy has seen many caretakers come and go. The people that took care of him in his first few months just one day were not there anymore. It will take time, sometimes longer than we may think, for him to realize we. are. not. going. anywhere. I think this fussiness and tantrum era is just his way of letting us know "okay, I get it. Changes are happening." Let's just hope this era works it's way out soon. On the other hand, once he is happy, boy...does that little giggle and heart stopping smile make my day!! I wanted to post a picture of this upset highchair moment as that little face sure is not happy with me. However, I had to choose between taking the photo or holding him so he didn't slide right out of that highchair. So, no photo today!

A little of this, a little of that

I've been working on our first post placement report. We have to turn in reports on Gadisa's well being and placement with us 3 months, 6 months and 1 year after we are home. After that, then we do a report every year until he is 18. These reports get sent back to Ethiopia so they can see how their children are adjusting with their American families. This first report is technically due in September to Ethiopia, but I have to turn it into our home study agency in August so I'm working on it now. By the way, how in the world is it almost August already? Anyway, the reports asks all the basic questions of how he's adjusting, his daily routine and how we're adjusting.

I'm also working on obtaining a Kansas birth certificate and legal name change for him as well. Technically, his legal name after the adoption was completed was Gadisa Joshua Hunt. That's just how they do it when issuing his passport and birth certificate. We'll be changing that to Oliver Gadisa Lyric Hunt and need to do this in front of a judge. Gadisa and I marched ourselves up to the county courthouse yesterday to start working on this process. This journey reminded me quickly of the paperwork fiasco's we dealt with in the adoption process of getting our Dossier together. When your child is home, you so very quickly forget about the long wait and the agony of the mounds of paperwork. It all has become a blur, but quickly rushed back to me yesterday in dealing with the court. Of course, the main person who could help me stepped out to lunch the second he referred to me another lady to make some copies. So, most of my questions about the proper way to go about the name change and birth certificate were not answered. After going through the paperwork process of an adoption, I have little patience for unanswered questions or anyone that can't answer my question. I'm telling you, this paperwork wears you out! So, as I was getting fussy with frustration, so was G. We left without really getting much accomplished and had to come home and make several calls and emails to various offices to piece together all what we need to do. You would think I was the first person ever to ask about this process around here. However, I think we are on the right track now and should be able to get this done when we meet with the judge.

Aside from this process, G is sitting up! He still falls over a lot, but can actually catch himself most of the time. When he came home he didn't have the muscles developed to sit up at all, so I'm really happy he's packed on the pounds and has gotten so much healthier so quickly.

I have started to do some things for myself again. I have not wanted to leave his side, but I know it's important to do things for me and my well being. I went to yoga class this week and honestly thought that my arms and legs just might actually pop off. I hadn't been to the class since around Thanksgiving and was definitely out of tune with yoga. It was good to get back into it and I look forward to Tuesday evenings for this!

So, for the past few months I have been struggling with a decision. A decision that affects my family greatly. This morning as I was discussing this with Josh over coffee and spoon banging (G's favorite thing to do in his highchair), he said something so profound, but so very simple that has made me realize this decision will be made very soon. Why hadn't I looked at it like this before? You know that feeling when you realized how great of a friend your husband or partner can be to you? That feeling when you know how much you rely just on the friendship of your relationship. Today, I am so thankful for that. And yes, I'll be sharing that decision soon enough!

Meeting the extended family

We headed to Springfield, Mo this past week so that Gadisa could meet our extended families. Josh is from Springfield and almost all of my family on my dad's side lives there so it's nice to be able to see both sides in one trip. I think this was by far my favorite Springfield trip. He was showered with so much love from aunts, uncles, cousins and grandmas. We are so really fortunate to have such great family. They have stood by our side anticipating his arrival from the time we told them we were adopting. This little guy has so many people that have waited to love him. He is teething and his 2nd tooth made it's appearance while we were there, so we pretty much got no sleep and neither did he. We battled a pretty serious fever and fussiness for a lot of the trip, but when he was happy we were good. Might I just add when your baby is burning up laying against your chest how helpless you feel!

My sister-in-law threw a baby shower/welcome home party for him. Now, let me just say the Hunt sisters are very talented and quite creative so we got some amazing handmade gifts. One of them was a personalized book written and illustrated by one of Josh's sisters. This book is so precious to me and I can't wait for Gadisa to ask to read it over and over. Here are some photos of it and some of the other gifts we received. Really, the greatest gift is just watching all of the family love on him. It gets me every time.