Timing

I just realized something. Josh will be out of town next week for an event in Little Rock we do every year. He leaves on Thursday and our court date is Monday. Sometimes it takes several days to hear the news. Generally, when that happens you haven't passed. How awful to not be together to hear the news! Arrgh! I hope we hear something by Wednesday.

As simple as a porch

My sanctuary. My front porch. You'll find me here 70% of the time from April - October. I rock, I think, I drink coffee, I drink wine and I daydream. I hide behind the plants and watch the neighborhood. I have spent countless days on this porch with good friends and deep felt conversation. Josh and I have laid out many plans for ourselves on this front porch. Where ever life may take us, what ever it may unfold for us, I hope to always have a front porch.

Today is the beginning of some changes around here. I have been in a rut the last few weeks, months...maybe years. I'm not really sure. All of a sudden I realize we have just a few months (I certainly hope it's only that) until our free time is no longer really ours all the time. And I've discovered that I don't really know where my time goes, but that I have somehow been wasting it. I'll look back at life without a child and really tell myself that I had all this time I didn't use.

So, today I start to use it. Yoga, Buddhism, reading, blogging, writing, sewing...all these little things that make me up or interest me are my focus. Ahh...yes...and this front porch. We have spent too much of our lives planning our next move and when you're involved in an adoption process all you can do is hold your breath and plan and squirm. Right now, right in this moment. I just need to live. Okay....and plan maybe just a little. ;)

Calender confusion

We were told our court date was just plain incorrect when it was first given. Apparently, the calendar conversion was just off. Ethiopia is on a completely different calendar than ours and it's 2002 there. It's a different month and a different date too, so it's not even an exact 7 or 8 year difference. I've tried to learn about it. I've read about it & it still doesn't make sense to me.

So, it's either May 3 or May 5 for our first court date. Either way, it's next week. I don't expect to hear for a few days whether we pass or not on the first try. In the meantime, I need to stop worrying about it. I feel it will happen when it happens and I'll have my moments of frustration and helplessness when I have them. I just need to accept it all as it comes.

I spent the rainy, cold Sunday finishing the baby mobile. It didn't turn out the way I exactly imagined, but I like it! I also made baby boy's prayer bead bracelet. Josh wears one and I've been wearing mine as a necklace, but I think I'll do a bracelet as well.

Expect the unexpected

We were informed today that our court date is May 3. Don't really know what happened to our April 24 date. Now, we have to wait 13 MORE days to wait to hear something about our case. I'm annoyed, but not surprised. I didn't even flinch when I read the news. "Expect the unexpected" is what you hear about adoption. I'll be happy when I expect nothing more than a regular, crazy day of life with our little guy running around.

I hate waiting. I despise it. To wait for a child is uncharted territory for me. However, I am convinced there is no wait like it.

The baby corner

Little by little I'm stocking up on some goods for baby boy. Most of the stuff is coming from Etsy.

Notice the little doll. I absolutely adore this doll. It was made by loving, creative hands and I'm so happy to have this as part of our journey. http://www.etsy.com/shop/SerendipitysGarden

Even Josh is getting on Etsy and buying some baby things. Love the scooter onesie!

We are enjoying our last trip as just the two of us this weekend...well, the 8 of us really as a lot of our office is out here with us. Loving Coachella!

We have court in less than a week. Oh, please please PUH-LEASE let us pass the first time. :)

Travel Warning

A travel warning to Ethiopia was issued by the State Department about traveling during the election time in Ethiopia. This deeply bums me out as we were planning on doing everything we could to see one or both of our sponsored children in Africa while we were there.

One is in Uganda and one is in Zambia. I was a bit nervous about traveling between countries before, but now it just seems like it's out of the question. We were going to do this before we went to Ethiopia, as there's no way I'm traveling all over Africa with our baby boy.

All in all, I would say I am definitely intimidated about traveling to Ethiopia this summer and I hate that. I know there are so many beautiful things to see and experience in Africa, but within the last 2 weeks I've read some articles of some pretty serious stuff going on over there. Since it seems to be taking longer for Embassy dates to be issued, it may not be until later in July when we travel, so perhaps we'll just miss the election period...so hard to really tell.

Here's the warning:

April 13, 2010

The State Department alerts U.S. citizens of the risks of travel to Ethiopia before and after national parliamentary elections scheduled for May 23, 2010, and recommends against all but essential travel to Ethiopia during this period. This Travel Alert expires on July 1, 2010.

Past elections in Ethiopia have featured violence in Addis Ababa and other areas of the country throughout the campaign season, the election, and especially in the days and weeks following the announcement of election results. Election results are scheduled to be announced June 21, 2010.

U.S. citizens should be aware that even peaceful gatherings and demonstrations can turn violent. U.S. citizens residing in or traveling to Ethiopia during this period are reminded to maintain a high level of security awareness at all times and avoid political rallies, demonstrations, and crowds of any kind. U.S. citizens should avoid polling places on election day, and be aware that authorities will strictly enforce specific prohibitions such as photography at polling stations. U.S. citizens are advised to monitor the situation via local media sources and the Internet. Significant traffic congestion, shortages of lodging availability, and large crowds throughout the country, particularly in Addis Ababa, are likely to inconvenience travelers. In addition, telephone services may be disrupted, as occurred during the 2005 elections.

Travelers also are reminded that extremists from Somalia and the heavy military buildup along Ethiopia's northern border pose risks to safety and security, particularly along Ethiopia's borders and in the Somali region. In southern Ethiopia along the Kenyan border, banditry and incidents involving ethnic conflicts are also common. Travelers should exercise caution when traveling to any remote area of the country, including the borders with Eritrea, Somalia, Kenya and Sudan. Ethiopian security forces do not have a widespread presence in those regions. For additional information, please see the most recent Country Specific Information for Ethiopia on our web site at www.travel.state. gov.

U.S. citizens living or traveling in Ethiopia are encouraged to register with the U.S. Embassy through the State Department's travel registration web site to obtain updated information on travel and security within Ethiopia. U.S. citizens without Internet access may register directly with the nearest U.S. Embassy. By registering, U.S. citizens make it easier for the Embassy to contact them in case of emergency.

What Sundays Are For

I absolutely love being an aunt. "My kids" are amazing. Amazingly funny. I was able to hang out with them yesterday. Warm sunshine, open fields and just an awesome Sunday afternoon.

They told me they can't wait to meet their new cousin. They called him their "cousin." I was so happy about this. When we first told them we were adopting, they referred to him as "our orphan child". This made me laugh and laugh. I had to correct them after I was finished laughing. It was so sweet that in their eyes he is already their cousin. I can't wait to see them all play together...

I don't get it

I read this story today and I'm outraged. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/10/world/europe/10russia.html

My heart goes out to this boy as I can not imagine what he is facing and thinking about this experience. My heart goes out to the families that are in the middle of a Russian adoption and now have had their case put on pause indefinitely. What happened that made this woman feel so desperate as to send this child alone back to Moscow? We can not dictate how a child will act or be when they come into our lives, whether biologically or through adoption. There is absolutely no control over that and the situations that older children go through on their own before they are adopted are out of our hands. Now, because of this situation so many other families are dealing with the consequences and even worse, this child is hurting and is going back into the system. This just makes me so mad. Adoption is a strenuous, delicate situation. You have to ready to endure a lot, even more so when you choose to adopt an older child, but they are not "returnable." They are human lives and some have tragedy inter woven in those lives. Now, I like to think that there are 2 sides to every story and clearly I have no way of knowing what the other side fully is, but in the end, this child is now more vulnerable than before. And now, the system for adoption in Russia will be changing. Which, if it can help prevent a tragedy like this from happening, I am all for. I can only hope they work out their new regulations quickly so that families that have so much love to give a child can finish the process of their adoptions and these children can have forever homes. It's just so very, very disappointing to read this story. I truly do wonder how the situation could have been so bad to think sending him on his way back to his birth country alone would be the answer. I just don't get it.

Sharing a blog...

In falling in love with blogging, I have started a blog for my little company, ReLive. I wanted an outlet to talk about more than just our products (although, there will be a little of that), but to share all things natural, whole living and eco friendly goodness.

http://reliveorganics.blogspot.com/

A little goes a long way

I got a tiny, teeny bit of news about our little guy. A traveling family was able to see him and check on him for us. I was worried about his eyes as his medical record says he squints his eyes. Just this little bit of an update made me so so happy! This is what made my day today:

"I talked with the nurse about him. He has gained a lot of
weight and looks very healthy. He's still small, but no squinty eyes. His eyes
are big and beautiful, he follows you and voices with his eyes. Very alert."