My sanctuary. My front porch. You'll find me here 70% of the time from April - October. I rock, I think, I drink coffee, I drink wine and I daydream. I hide behind the plants and watch the neighborhood. I have spent countless days on this porch with good friends and deep felt conversation. Josh and I have laid out many plans for ourselves on this front porch. Where ever life may take us, what ever it may unfold for us, I hope to always have a front porch.
Today is the beginning of some changes around here. I have been in a rut the last few weeks, months...maybe years. I'm not really sure. All of a sudden I realize we have just a few months (I certainly hope it's only that) until our free time is no longer really ours all the time. And I've discovered that I don't really know where my time goes, but that I have somehow been wasting it. I'll look back at life without a child and really tell myself that I had all this time I didn't use.
So, today I start to use it. Yoga, Buddhism, reading, blogging, writing, sewing...all these little things that make me up or interest me are my focus. Ahh...yes...and this front porch. We have spent too much of our lives planning our next move and when you're involved in an adoption process all you can do is hold your breath and plan and squirm. Right now, right in this moment. I just need to live. Okay....and plan maybe just a little. ;)
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I was chatting with another new mama last night..she was sayng how, after sitting/carrying her babe for 6 hours straight she finally fell deeply enough asleep tp be but down...for an hour. Mama was saying he could not believe how much she got done in that hour! "what did we use to do with our time?" she asks. all I could do was laugh, good question.
ReplyDeletelove your porch, enjoy this time:)
xo