Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Sunshine on a heavy heart

I sit here in an airport waiting for my connecting flight home. Home...I miss it so much. I've not posted for a few weeks. Got caught up in the whirlwind of life. The last 12 hours have been emotional, exhausting, depleting and real. I went to LA to be with my family last week as my grandfather was dying. When we got there he perked up. He bounced back. He laughed, he smiled...he listened to us all make noise in his life. We thought we had more time and we thought he had dodged this once again. So, I booked my flight back yesterday evening. Last night, we lost my grandfather. In just a moment, it was his time. One moment he was talking and enjoying his family and the next he was finished with his journey here. He said he would hang on until we got there and he did. His stubbornness overruled all else, once again. I will always be grateful to him. He gave us all advice and guidance that we could not turn anywhere else for. His last days were filled with such happiness that it gives me a sense of peace to let him go. Not to say it isn't shocking that the time really came or that it's not breaking my heart, but I will see him again. I am so glad to have been there with my family in those last few moments. He was not alone and he was not in pain.
As I was walking thru the airport with a heavy heart and exhausted soul, Josh called me and told me we got a court date. April 24. The ability of life to throw you around, knock you down and then let the sun shine on you always leaves me amazed.


  1. oh lovely lady...such a time of transitions. How amazing that you were able to spend that time connecting with your grandfather...your family. a blessing indeed.
    and a court date?! so does this mean you will be exempt fro the double travel law?
    I am with you here, in the time of change...loss and rebirth. don't forget to take time to let it all spill out...joy and pain:)


  2. I'm sorry to hear of your grandfather's passing, but what a way to move on...surrounded by the love and laughter of friends.

    I'm so happy that the date is set! One step closer to bringing him home...

  3. As a former hospice nurse, I have seen it often. The loved one waits for everyone to come, then even seen them turn around to then pass shortly after. What a gift God gave to you, the time with him is so treasured. You will always be able to share your memories of him with your new son ! Congrats on the court date ! I so pray for passing court the 1st time !!!!!! I had a friend who got her little girl the first time, she was with your agency !