Monday, October 5, 2009

Spinning with questions

I think I'm "nesting." I want to rearrange, organize, get rid of stuff we don't use...get MORE space! Granted, I've always been a little (or a lot) like this. I would rearrange my bedroom as a girl until I moved furniture around so much it would barely stay together. This went on as a teen, in college and so forth.
Now, I'm looking around our house imagining where everything is going to go. And, there's so much to do! So many home projects that need to actually come to life. Now is the time. The time to jump on this before we have a little one. Ah...I wish we could take off a month and do all these little projects now before we bring someone new home.
I do suppose all these things will keep us busy. And, I need busy. I need something to take my mind off of the wondering and the flow of questions that constantly surround us. When are we going to get a referral? How long will it take to get a court date? How many times will we have to go through court before we pass? How long will we wait to travel? And HER??? Who is SHE? What's her story? What will lead her to give up her baby? Does she know right now...right at this moment... that this is what she or her family will decide? Will we meet? I find myself always wondering about her. This person, this family. This woman that will change so many lives forever.
I'm checking our Yahoo adoption group several times a day. I want to see other families getting referrals...something that gives me HOPE that ours is coming soon. Yes, we have not been on the list even a month yet, but we really have felt we would be oh-so fortunate and have a short wait. I better get this waiting thing mastered. My heart goes out to the families I'm reading about that have waited weeks, months and years. I could not even imagine.

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