Transitioning

So, now it's crunch time. There is a little more paperwork to complete, we have to get the baby room ready and all those baby supplies we need. We need to figure out our travel costs, but will hold on booking anything until our Embassy date is confirmed. A family that recently passed court is in Ethiopia now and the time between them passing court and traveling was right at the 6 week mark. If that's the case for us, that puts us traveling in mid June. We have so much to do before then. Plus, we have to get everyone at our office ready to take on our tasks while we are gone. I'm still coming to terms with maternity leave. I can't imagine being able to completely turn off my email and work role for several weeks. Part of me thinks I won't want to come back and the other part of me thinks I'll have a hard time not checking in. :) Since we own the business it's definitely a tricky thing to balance. We definitely need 2 incomes. Hard to tell what's really going to happen and a lot of that depends on his adjustment when he's home. So, the saga of not really knowing what's happening continues! All we do know is we have a beautiful, amazing son waiting to come home. We are both still in a dream world. This month marks our 1 year anniversary of starting the adoption process. I admit, I do feel a little guilty for being able to pass court the first time. I follow other family's struggles as they try to pass several times. There is no rhyme or reason as to why some families pass easily while other's don't. It's just heartbreaking to hear of families still waiting to bring their children home.

This photo shows our new dining room table centerpiece. Little shoes stare back at us at each meal. A symbol of what is to come in just a few weeks. Funny thing about these shoes. Here is our conversation about them:

Josh - "Why don't these shoes have any shoe laces? Did you grab a pair that were missing laces?"

Me - "Haha! No, that's the style of them. They don't come with laces."

Josh - "Are you sure? Did the other pairs on the rack have laces?"

Me- (while laughing even harder) - "No, that's how they are made. It's stylish. Kids are wearing them like this and now they just make them without laces."

Josh - "Hmmm...that's weird. That doesn't make any sense?"

Me - "You just became a dad 2 days ago. Did you already lose your "coolness?"

Ahhh..we both got a good laugh out of that one.

Tuesday, May 4 just changed our world

It's official! Baby boy has a forever home and we have a son. We are overwhelmed with joy! We have a lot of questions to ask our agency for the next steps, so I will keep you updated. We need to settle on a name now!

I just may go crazy today

I'm anxious. I'm nervous. It's hard to do anything else today, but wonder. Can we beat the odds and be THAT family that passes court on the first try? Can we even be so selfish as to ask for an answer either way today? Yes, note the sarcasm. :)

A Chinese Fortune

I don't generally eat a lot of Chinese food. I have to REALLY be in the mood for it. However, that might change. Here was my fortune today from my fortune cookie:

"An airplane ride is soon in your future sending you to fun!"

I about dropped my fork.

Timing

I just realized something. Josh will be out of town next week for an event in Little Rock we do every year. He leaves on Thursday and our court date is Monday. Sometimes it takes several days to hear the news. Generally, when that happens you haven't passed. How awful to not be together to hear the news! Arrgh! I hope we hear something by Wednesday.

As simple as a porch

My sanctuary. My front porch. You'll find me here 70% of the time from April - October. I rock, I think, I drink coffee, I drink wine and I daydream. I hide behind the plants and watch the neighborhood. I have spent countless days on this porch with good friends and deep felt conversation. Josh and I have laid out many plans for ourselves on this front porch. Where ever life may take us, what ever it may unfold for us, I hope to always have a front porch.

Today is the beginning of some changes around here. I have been in a rut the last few weeks, months...maybe years. I'm not really sure. All of a sudden I realize we have just a few months (I certainly hope it's only that) until our free time is no longer really ours all the time. And I've discovered that I don't really know where my time goes, but that I have somehow been wasting it. I'll look back at life without a child and really tell myself that I had all this time I didn't use.

So, today I start to use it. Yoga, Buddhism, reading, blogging, writing, sewing...all these little things that make me up or interest me are my focus. Ahh...yes...and this front porch. We have spent too much of our lives planning our next move and when you're involved in an adoption process all you can do is hold your breath and plan and squirm. Right now, right in this moment. I just need to live. Okay....and plan maybe just a little. ;)

Calender confusion

We were told our court date was just plain incorrect when it was first given. Apparently, the calendar conversion was just off. Ethiopia is on a completely different calendar than ours and it's 2002 there. It's a different month and a different date too, so it's not even an exact 7 or 8 year difference. I've tried to learn about it. I've read about it & it still doesn't make sense to me.

So, it's either May 3 or May 5 for our first court date. Either way, it's next week. I don't expect to hear for a few days whether we pass or not on the first try. In the meantime, I need to stop worrying about it. I feel it will happen when it happens and I'll have my moments of frustration and helplessness when I have them. I just need to accept it all as it comes.

I spent the rainy, cold Sunday finishing the baby mobile. It didn't turn out the way I exactly imagined, but I like it! I also made baby boy's prayer bead bracelet. Josh wears one and I've been wearing mine as a necklace, but I think I'll do a bracelet as well.