our journey thru...

Two Has Arrived

2011-11-14T16:34:00.001-06:00

This little boy of ours turned 2 last week. Thursday was his birthday and Saturday was his party. It was an exhausting day on Saturday cleaning the house and doing party prep, but Gadisa loved every moment of his party. We had 1/2 of it at a gymnastics center and then everyone headed back to our house for some Ethiopian food and games. Time is moving so fast. So, so very fast. Seems like just a second ago we were waiting for him to come home. Waiting and wondering. Today, our days are filled with 2 year old adventures. I love these days.

Missing my baby

2011-10-28T17:00:00.003-05:00

We are in Boulder, Co this week and while we have been here, Gadisa has been spending time with his Nana. We got this video from her today. I can't wait to see him tomorrow!! That scrunched up, painful look at the end...that's him smiling for us. I love it!

Hey...Get Your Own!

2011-10-01T09:53:00.001-05:00

I ran upstairs to put some laundry away and came down to G checking his email. This kid needs his own computer already!

Blossoming

2011-09-26T15:06:00.007-05:00

Time for a little Gadisa update. He's growing like a weed. I keep putting clothes on him that fit just a few weeks ago and they are small now. He's also a busy bee, moving from one project to the next. Still babbling, but those words will be coming any day now. He's behind a little on his words, but understands absolutely everything we tell him. He's growing so much with being exposed to new things and people at daycare and it's so awesome to see him becoming more comfortable in new surroundings. He warms up a lot quicker to people that he wasn't so comfortable around before. It's nice for everyone to start seeing the ham this kid really is. He loves to make us laugh and I can't wait to start having conversations with him...well, ones that I can understand at least.

He's a dancing machine! Any music (toys, commercials, singing....) he starts with his dance moves. The best part is he is always coming up with new ones. Here's some new photos of this guy. Can't believe he will be turning 2 this fall!

With his aunt, Rachael, at the Renaissance Festival. I like how his face seems concerned with her touching the llama.

Hope he grows out of this phase before college.

Just a little flirting with the bakery woman is all it takes to get a free cookie.

A year to remember

2011-06-13T23:28:00.006-05:00

Dear, Oliver Gadisa Lyric -

One year. I have seen you with my own eyes. In flesh and bone. You make me stop and see...everything. It must have been so scary to change everything you knew. Be brought to a new place where everything was different. Sounds, smells and sights. You welcomed it so gracefully. Like an old soul. Watching and taking everything in so thoughtfully. My favorite part of my day is rocking you to sleep. Music humming in the background, you snuggled into my arms silently staring at photos of your life before us on the wall as you drift to sleep. I wonder what you are thinking. I know you won't remember, but I won't let you forget. Each day with you is an honor. I hope you think we have done a decent job so far. Thank you for everything that you are and for everything that you have taught me to be. I had no idea how to be a mother until you first looked at me and simply smiled and your whole face lit up. I knew then I was put here to be yours and we would figure it out together.

Happy one year anniversary, Oliver Gadisa! We love you dearly.

Worth the Wait

2011-05-03T07:33:00.005-05:00

We passed court a year ago today making us "official" parents. I felt like G's mama since we saw his referral photo though. The year has flown by and I just realized we started the whole process 2 years ago this month.

Everyone says it's crazy how the time just flies by.

Everyone is right.

I spent practically every waking moment with Gadisa and I have since we first saw each other. On Wednesdays, when I have a sitter for a few hours during the day, I find myself missing him and anxious to get back to this little guy. Even amid the frustrations and challenges of him (Really, G...you need to try and unplug my computer again? What is your fascination with electrical outlets?!) I am always remembering The Wait. The hours and days of sitting in silence in his room just craving to hold him.

Everyone says it's worth the wait.

Everyone is right.

Car seats and parades

2011-03-21T09:09:00.005-05:00

Guess the forward facing car trips are going to be on hold for a bit. Now the American Academy of Pediatrics say it's best to keep them in their seats rear facing until age 2. Hope the ol' flip around will go over well with Gadisa. He loves going on car rides and does amazing in the car.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/03/21/car.seat.guidelines.parenting/index.html?eref=mrss_igoogle_cnn

We hit the St. Patrick's Day parade last week and were met with amazing weather! G loved it.

We are fully into March Madness around here, which means G gets to stay up and watch KU basketball. He's loving it. Our beloved Jayhawks are headed to the Sweet Sixteen! Rock Chalk!

Questions and worry

2011-03-08T12:56:00.004-06:00

photo courtesy of : http://betheanswerforchildren.wordpress.com/2011/03/08/emergency-campaign-for-ethiopia/

The news has been released that Ethiopia is reducing their processing of foreign adoptions by 90%. There has been a growing concern over unethical adoptions and verify whether an child is truly an orphan. This news is frustrating, yet I had a feeling that something was going to happen soon on adoptions here. I do understand the need to regroup, so to speak. The organization that processes adoptions is completely overwhelmed and under staffed. However, slowing down the number of adoptions getting processed will leave children in orphanages for an extended period of time. Health & medical conditions can only worsen if this happens. Not to mention the emotional turmoil a child goes through being in an institution on survival mode vs. being in a loving family.

Whenever it is possible, I wish to see children stay with their birth families. I strongly support this. It is heartbreaking that a beautiful country has so many children that leave it. As happy as I was to have our son in our arms, I left that country sitting in my plane seat crying because of the loss between my son and his country. However, there are so many kids that have no option of staying with their families in Ethiopia. So very many. What is going to happen to them? Who is going to fight for them?

I suppose right now all I want is information. Information on what Ethiopia plans to do with all these children currently in orphanages waiting for their forever families. I want to know the game plan. I want to know how they are going to support these children. I don't want to disrespect their decision, I just want to...well, help. Make this situation make sense.

I have the utmost respect for my son's birth country. I just have a whole lot of worry and questions today on what this means for the children of Ethiopia.

If you are interested in signing a petition to ask the Ethiopian government to reconsider this move and to consider other options you can sign it here: http://betheanswerforchildren.wordpress.com/2011/03/08/emergency-campaign-for-ethiopia/

Happy 1st Referral Day

2011-02-22T06:47:00.001-06:00

One year ago today, the day started like any other. Me, anxious and full of anticipation. Waiting and waiting. Wondering. Trying to push through everything like life was normal, as if we weren't waiting for our future with every second that ticked by. I had decided to work from home that day when THE CALL came.

It's hard to believe we've known about Gadisa for 1 year now. It's gone by so quickly. My life is completely different than what it used to be one year ago. I no longer am just a "me" when sharing my day's stories with my husband. I am a "we." "We" are an "us". The two of us, my son and I. My little sidekick and adventure buddy.

When I saw the first photo of him I couldn't breathe. He was surreal. A dream long in the making. We had a face to focus on. That face had a name now.

Oliver Gadisa Lyric has been in my heart from the moment he was referred to us. Every motherly sense about me came out instinctively and I hung tightly to my heart to keep him safe. I thought about him every second of the day and starred at his few photos that we had until every image was engraved in my mind.

These days, I live what I wondered about. I love just watching him. Playing, laughing, touching things & then looking at me to see when I will say "No!" Then I think...there was actually a time when we didn't know each other?? How could that be?! Gadisa is one of those people that pull you in. His charm, that sneaky smile, the way he wants to make you laugh and his seriousness all bundled into one soul is beyond beautiful. Being his mother is such an honor.

Happy Referral Day, G! We love you so much and are so very proud of you!

Leaving the bottle behind

2011-02-06T08:47:00.006-06:00

I wanted to put it off. I wanted to keep babying him. Our doctor told us at 15 months, get him off. Josh agreed. To me this is more symbolic than just taking him off the bottle. To me, it's a loss of his infancy. It's a loss of an aspect of mothering. Those slow, afternoon moments of rocking him to sleep while feeding him a bottle remind me of summer. Remind me of when he came to us. Now, our little guy is a toddler. Now, he's a sippy cup taker. Now, he's a walker. It's happening so fast. Everyone says it does. I just want to scoop him up and push pause. It's so hard to watch them grow up before your eyes, yet so sooo beautiful.

I informed Josh the other day that if Gadisa chooses to go to college in another city (gulp!) we would in fact be moving to whatever city that was. I mean, come on...who else is going to cut up his food into itty-bitty pieces so he doesn't choke?

Baby Derby

2011-01-21T14:26:00.009-06:00

G's new favorite home activity has swept the household. Baby Derby! Oliver and his dad came up with this one the other day when all of a sudden around the corner in a screeching turn came our little guy barreling across the living room floor in his Derby cart. He squeals and screams the faster they go.

Our son is going to be a daredevil. I can tell already. He loves to swing around, fall, be thrown up in the air...you name it. Anything that could result in him getting hurt and me doing the infamous quick inhale of air while clutching my chest he is into. I'm already terrified for him. I do admit however, I'm a big fan of Baby Derby.

A little High Five action before starting.

Ahhh...man. I hate it when that happens.

Looks like we need a pit stop repair.

Highchair Tears

2011-01-02T15:15:00.005-06:00

Check out this angry, sad little face.

This sight is becoming a daily occurrence. We get this reaction lately when we are wrapping up meal time. Food has been a soothing factor for Gadisa since we met him, but really isn't it for any child this age?? On the other hand, I've read about adoptive children having issues with food. Gadisa just over eats. And then eats and eats some more. He's at a healthy weight now, but we are trying to come up with how to handle his angry cries for more food. When he screams, it's more like he's yelling at us for more food. We don't necessarily want to give him things when he's got this tone of crying/screaming with us and we know he's not hungry, he's just stocking up. It could be a reaction from his time in the orphanage and the association of hunger with food and the frequency or lack of when it was given. Or, it could be the toddler in him coming out to get what he wants when he wants it. Whatever the reason, this little man is pretty angry at his mama when he sees me going to wipe off his hands and face. Hopefully, this phase will wrap up soon. For now, we just calmly take him out of the high chair and walk around to calm him down and distract him with another activity. If you've got other suggestions, I'd love to hear them!

Thank You, 2010.

2010-12-31T12:05:00.007-06:00

The clock is ticking to the end of the year and the beginning of something new. 2010 is so close to my heart. It brought us our son. It brought us the roller coaster journey of emotions that bringing us our son entailed. It was a year of personal journey as I juggled with who I was with just the two of us and then how I've transformed with the three of us. It was a year of decisions and the indecisiveness I always fight to come to a conclusion.

Here are my most memorable moments of 2010...

1. Seeing Gadisa's face light up and the biggest smile come across it the moment we looked at each other. I will never, ever, ever forget that sight and the emotions that flooded with it.

2. Watching my grandfather pass. I never saw him as often as I would have liked, but I am grateful to have been there when he moved on, surrounded by my extended familia. It was the way it was supposed to be.

3. A warm, summer evening giggling on a park bench in Rome with my husband and eating gelato. I knew when it was happening that I was in love with that moment.

4. Running through a downpour of rain with my oldest, closest friends after spending an evening enjoying them. I heart my friends!

5. The countless, slow summer days of sitting on the porch in my favorite rocking chair with my son swinging beside me completely happy with where I was.

I decided to extend my blogging experience to this new location. www.morningsparrow.com

Morning Sparrow is a new adventure of sharing for me. I wanted to expand beyond adoption blogging and well....just chat about whatever, whenever without having any topic boundaries.

I plan to still update this blog with all things Oliver Gadisa, adoption and our adventures, but with Morning Sparrow I hope to evolve into all sorts of things. It's really outside of my comfort level as I went back and forth on how much to share and why. Just starting this adoption blog was a big jump into letting walls down. I tend to be more private than blogging permits, but it's been good to just let it all flow out. In the end, writing is therapeutic for me and that won out all insecurities. So here I am. We'll see where it goes.

I hope the New Year brings you adventures, blissfulness and happiness galore. Happy New Year to you!

What a difference

2010-12-26T08:50:00.006-06:00

Last year...last Christmas, I was anxiously awaiting a magical phone call from our adoption agency. I had a tiny glimmer of hope that they would surprise us on Xmas Day with THE phone call that we had a child. That call never came that day and I was disappointed.

This year, we spent the day with this little guy.

A long, slow, happy day with the 3 of us. Our first Christmas together. Our new tradition of spending Christmas day together in our house. We opened presents and sat around drinking coffee in our pajamas for most of the day. I feel overly grateful this Christmas. My family is together...happy and healthy. What a difference a year makes.

I hope all of you had a very relaxing, enjoyable Christmas with the ones that are the dearest to you. I hope you had a moment to stop, slow down and just be. Happy Holidays!

Swish, Swish, Swish

2010-12-19T17:33:00.003-06:00

The other morning as I'm trying hard to get a few more minutes of sleep, I hear Josh get up and go into Ollie's room to get him up. I can hear through the baby monitor all this commotion as they greet each other for the day. Then, I keep hearing a "swish, swish" type sound. For the life of me, I can not figure out what that is. Swish, swish, swish....and then walks in G and Dad. Ta da! A super cheesy, 90's era Kansas University jumpsuit. I laughed and laughed. Perfect way to start a day! This outfit is courtesy of a summer garage sale item found by my sister. Too good to pass up. I need a matching one for Josh.

We celebrated the Hunt family Xmas this weekend. It was a costume Xmas and here is our little Jayhawk. I promise...he will get other options for costumes of his choosing as he gets older. ;)

I can't believe Christmas is this week! I'm looking forward to a very mello Christmas day with Gadisa. We decided to start our family tradition of spending Christmas day at our house instead of going out of town anywhere. We aren't going too overboard with his gifts, but we did have fun going shopping for him. Generally, we have the last 2 weeks of the year off from work off, but I'm still home with G for now on an extended maternity leave and Josh is working on some big festivals for the spring/summer already so he will be working as usual. I'm just thankful for the business so as long as I can steal Josh away for some 1/2 days I'm happy.

A big catch up

2010-11-28T11:58:00.009-06:00

Hello, blog land. A big "oops" on my part for my lack of posting over the last month. I really have no excuse other than lack of creativity. It happens. So, let's get started!

HALLOWEEN...

G was an Ewok for Halloween this year. And let me just tell you, he was absolutely adorable!

THE BIG BIRTHDAY...

Oliver Gadisa Lyric turned 1 on November 10. We celebrated with a small family dinner at Nana's house and some sugar free homemade icing, which was a HUGE hit with him. I was both a little sad and extremely overjoyed to celebrate. My mind wandered to his birth mama and what she was going through a year ago that day. I can't believe he's now a toddler and milestones are coming fast. He's not walking yet, but will be so any moment. He has taken his first steps, however! He's testing us daily and thinks it's hilarious that we chase after him when he starts to go up the stairs or when he makes a mad crawling dash for the lamp cord. "No!" is just a laughing factor for him. Can't wait till the teenage years! ;)

BIG BOY...

And just because he's so darn cute...here is my little man, being all big sitting in the shopping cart. No more baby car seat for him. He loves sitting in the shopping cart and sitting in big boy highchairs at restaurants.

THANKSGIVING...

This year we have so much to be thankful for. G is in our lives. He's happy, he's healthy and he is oh-so funny. Most recently, we really were tested on how much family truly means to us. This past week we rushed down to Springfield, Mo when we got a call about Josh's dad having a heart attack. We spent all week there and feel so fortunate and blessed that his dad pulled through. Turns out his heart just stopped and he was 100% on his way out. We are thankful for technology that helped save his life. We are thankful his wife was there to help save his life. We are thankful for the wonderful care he is getting at the hospital. We are thankful more than words can describe that he is still with us today. We were told he had a 5% chance of surviving. No matter how busy we are in our daily lives, sometimes things are just out of our hands and when we loose control all we have is each other. Family, friends and the insanity and love that comes with it all. I feel blessed and full. :)

Here is just perfect

2010-10-28T17:45:00.003-05:00

I still find it hard to believe we are in this chapter of our lives. I still can't believe little whines or giggles wake me in the morning. We waited a long time. We waited until we were ready and the universe waited until he was ready and somehow that all happened to be the perfect timing. I still can't believe we are his and he is ours. Four months later...I still have a hard time believing we are here.

Sunshine Bliss

2010-10-22T10:50:00.001-05:00

His whines were from boredom and I was happy he reminded me we needed some sunshine.

Cutting the crap

2010-10-15T11:46:00.004-05:00

To do lists are never ending and mine is always excessive. We have a high maintenance lifestyle with our business and household (the 3 dogs and 2 cats definitely have something to do with it) and the projects and daily life tasks are never ending. Now that I'm home for the time being, I am able to really start crossing off this big ol' to do list. In looking at it daily, I have begun to realize how much of it is crap. Crap that I really don't need to do, don't need to have or shouldn't have gotten so out of hand in the first place (over stuffed linen closet, I'm talking to you!). Excessiveness. Clutter. Too many appointments and too little time or desire to keep them. Kindness is the reason I have kept them, but does it REALLY matter? I have decided it does not. I would rather spend my time visiting a baby on his first day of life (Welcome, Griffin!) or sending well wishes to friends leaving for Ethiopia to bring home their son (so excited for the Lovins!). I am encouraged by these moments to make life more simplistic where I can.

So, this Friday morning I am cutting the crap out of our lives. One by one, I am canceling this subscription, that service, this appointment, that membership and so on. And it feels GLORIOUS! Just glorious!

Balance

2010-10-05T13:23:00.004-05:00

It seems like it's getting harder and harder to keep up the blog. G has me so busy because he's so mobile now. But, here is what we've been up to...Fall is here. The house is cold. The porch is bare. The plants are inside. I'm bundled up in sweaters and scarves already. It's actually colder in our house than outside.

He got his first major boo boo. I cried longer than he did. Probably because I felt so bad and couldn't catch him in time as his head hit the floor. He is pulling himself up on everything and sometimes just looses his balance.

I swear he's grown an inch in 2 weeks. His clothes are getting smaller and he's looking more like a toddler by the minute. We're struggling with some sort of reflux issue he has as he stills throws up a lot after eating and we've been seeing a chiropractor for him, but at this point I think we're going to add in some medication for him as well.

We have found a babysitter! This was a big one for us. It's so hard to like someone enough to leave your child with them. Anyways, we are thrilled with our choice and this makes me feel so secure that he is in good hands for a night out. We started our date nights last week and I couldn't remember the last time we went to a movie.

He's been around more people lately and I can see the small changes in his comfort level adjusting to new people. He likes to go out and about and see the world. I often wonder where that adventurous side will take him in life. He'll be 11 months in a few days. It is just flying by so quickly. Daily I thank the stars for being able to be home with him right now. I get lost in thought a lot about when that will change and if I will be ready for it to change when it does. And, do I WANT it to change? I never thought I would stay at home. I guess I never gave it much thought. I was supposed to go back to work in August and then August came and went and I wasn't ready. I wasn't done getting to know him and catching up on the lost time of not knowing him. What I cared about before doesn't have that priority in my life anymore. Our days at home are smoother and slower with me being here. I get to know Josh again because we don't sit around and talk about work 90% of the time. I don't really get bored. I am always finding something to keep me busy. I think about balance a lot these days. Maintaining myself and my role as a mother is a new challenge that I stumble over each day, not quite knowing where I land. However, the newness perhaps of it all is starting to dissipate as I get better at it each day. Being the organized gal that I am, we have set up mornings where we trade off on who gets him up, dressed and fed that morning. When I have the morning "off", I am able to sit down for a moment and drink my coffee and just BE. I really missed that these last few months. Morning is my favorite time of the day. When my morning moment is over, I anxiously run back downstairs and lay kisses over G's fat little cheeks. I hear his giggle and see his smile and then graciously accept what motherhood has brought to me and remember that balance is always going to be a daily struggle and to just live the moments more.

Story Telling

2010-09-22T23:26:00.005-05:00

G expressed a slight interest in books the other day...

So, we experienced our first story time at the public library. Big thanks to Joanna for the suggestion!

Luckily it's only 30 minutes for this age group, which is perfect because at precisely the 22 minute mark the melt downs began spreading around the room. I so enjoyed today with Gadisa. Granted, he only napped for 40 minutes total today when he usually naps for 3 hours. I have no idea how he kept going all day, but we had a great time together today. Being out and about, getting cooed over by college girls, staying out much later than normal then getting slap happy because he was so delirious from exhaustion. And the laundry that I do on Wednesdays each week...sits next to the washer unfinished. I wouldn't have it any other way!

I wrote his name on his name tag at story time and it got me thinking about his name. Having a birth name and a name we have given him is really confusing. He's always been Gadisa to us since he was referred, but I absolutely love the name Oliver. It's such a strong, classic, beautiful name and I want to use it more. Do I introduce him as Gadisa or as Oliver? I have done both and then have to go into the whole "Well, his full name is Oliver Gadisa Lyric...Gadisa is his Ethiopian name"...and that whole deal. I feared this would happen with naming him. I suppose it will just be one of those things we get used to, but will always confuse everyone else. Still, I think I will use Oliver more so he becomes accustomed to both. Sorry, G...that's what happens when you have an indecisive mama. Poor kid!

Lucky

2010-09-20T22:48:00.001-05:00

Behind our house lies a field that we've adopted as our own.

A little bit of country nestled in the middle of town.

Evening walks.

Silly, happy dogs.

Sunsets over the trees.

Quietness hidden from most.

Coyotes howl and sometimes their young ones cry into the night.

Late summer sunflowers.

Fall morning dew.

A little bit of serenity in only a few steps.

Photos

2010-09-08T12:50:00.004-05:00

I've got new photos to post. G is getting hard to take photos of because he's so squirmy and all over the place. He's crawling and getting very fast. Even more exciting, he's dancing! He busts a move all the time. He has quite the little moves too I must say. He is getting a great sense of humor and we are full of giggles making faces at each other and funny noises. He especially thinks it's hilarious to laugh at mom when she jumps up to get things. I mean a full belly moving laugh. And trust me when you're 5'0 tall there is a LOT of jumping to do. :)

A crisp, cool morning of porch and coffee time. A hoodie and some socks...what more could you ask for?

I think he loves the new floors and so does his mama! And look at that hair! It's growing so fast.

One of my favorite moments with my son is when he falls asleep in the sling. He is so angelic and precious and I savor these moments forever. Sometimes I just let him sleep here for awhile before I lay him down. I wonder if I can fit him in here when he's 10?

We were making faces at each other during breakfast one morning. Look at that face! I love it.

What have we gotten ourselves into?

2010-09-02T12:06:00.005-05:00

So, after many years of longing for beautiful wood floors our time has come to have them installed. I am so excited and can't wait to see them! However, I am not excited about this:

This is what our house looks like right now. The installers came on Tuesday and told us that because of the rain that morning that the install wouldn't be able to be done that day. Something about the wood material and the moisture in the air. They asked "The store told you there would be a possiblity of this, right?" Um...NO! So, we have this situation until Sunday. No furniture to sit on and no floor for Gadisa to play and crawl on in our main living areas. So we are spending much of our time on the front porch and adventuring out throughout town. We spent the majority of the time while the installers were pulling up the carpet looking at each other with that look of "What have we gotten ourselves into!" Oh well, I'm sure it will be worth it when the project is done. Thank god the weather has cooled off a little so we can venture out for walks. Come on Sunday...get here soon!

A week of firsts

2010-08-23T23:30:00.007-05:00

It's been a busy week with me and my sidekick. We've had some firsts. My favorite was our first time actually hanging out downtown with just the two of us. We live in a college town that has the cutest downtown area. It's a small town feeling as you walk down Massachusetts St. Generally, you see familiar faces in each journey out and about. First we hit a coffee shop. This was a big deal to me. I hadn't been venturing out much to partake in society, mainly because it's too freakin' hot to go outside and also because I get wrapped up in my own little world at home and forget to touch base with the rest of the world. I had forgotten how amazingly wonderful it is to just sit in a coffee shop with no agenda at all. Anyways, there we were mother and son. Enjoying my coffee, people watching and just being out and about while G focused deeply on a muffin. Granted it's a scene that can only last 20 minutes tops with a 9 month that gets bored easily, but I was glad we experienced it. We then ventured over to the fabric store, which is more like a fabric boutique. I love this store. It's huge windows with all the natural light flowing in and it's creaky, old wood floors. Rows and rows of draped fabric....I could go on and on... I wanted badly to take some photos of all the beautiful fabric, but my hands were full with my little man. He fell fast asleep against me as I browsed through the aisles looking for the right fabric for his highchair cushion I was making. It was a rainy, summer morning and I loved spending every second of it with my son. I find myself often wishing he was older so he could converse with me as we sit there watching the rest of the world. Then, I remind myself how quickly he will be and I snap back into knowing how important it is to live in the now.

The next big first is all Gadisa's. He has developed an intense and a little disturbing addiction (somewhat similar to my addiction to Gummy Bears and frozen pizza). He has discovered Puffs. You know, those little baby cereal things that dissolve in their mouths? I mean his obsession with these things could lead us to an intervention. He flips out over them! I find myself making a tire screeching U turn if I've figured out I've left the house with out any Puffs in the diaper bag! But hey, we all have our weaknesses, right?

And lastly, the main big first is what I walked into when I went to pick him up after a long afternoon slumber. There with a big ol' grin on his face was Gadisa standing up in his crib. We are now pulling ourself up and standing!! It all begins....
By the way, I swear I really do put clothes on my child! :)

Sponsorship

2010-08-14T13:43:00.005-05:00

We started sponsoring Emmanuel (Uganda, 9 years old) and Joyce (Zambia, 8 years old) 3 years ago. We wanted to help. We wanted to do SOMETHING and know exactly where our help was going and to whom. So, I Googled about this and found out we can sponsor children and get regular updates on how they are doing. This has touched me so much. In the beginning, I would tear up every single time a letter and photo would arrive with an update. The letters written by siblings or a parent letting us know how our financial help was directly affecting their family. Now, I smile so big and brightly when I see a piece of mail from Africa. I'm excited to rip open the envelope, no longer sad about their situation, but instead anxious to see how they are doing.

Emmanuel's family buying first a goat, then a pig, then chickens and then a bull to help raise money themselves to support the family. Joyce's family buying a blanket, a BED!, simple necessities like dishes and mosquito nets. SIMPLE NECESSITIES that we go to Target for in a quick trip in our air conditioned vehicles. I am overjoyed that we can help, to do anything to make someone's life easier. To be able to make someone's life healthier. We are so fortunate to live the life we live and I just want to install in Gadisa that if you have something and you are standing on your own two feet, then reach out and help someone stand on theirs. I am humbled by the strength I see in Emmanuel and Joyce's families. For I do not have strength like they do. I wanted so badly to visit them while we were in Africa, but traveling between the countries was too dangerous and costly to be able to make it happen.

In September, our sponsorship of Emmanuel will end. World Vision is pulling out of his region as they have met their goals for his community and they now can support themselves. This is fantastic, but this is also sad. We have written many letters and received many pictures of him. For my own selfish reasons, I do not want to end our communication. I want to know how he's doing, how he's growing but, I know that meeting the goals of the sponsorship is the whole point of it. How wonderful it really is to see a community that once needed dire assistance to now have schools, health facilities and education to support itself. Perhaps Emmanuel will still stay in touch with us as he grows into a young man. We will always remember him and smile when we see his photos sitting on our shelves at home.

I always think it would be so amazing if everyone that could, would sponsor a child. It makes the biggest difference in their lives. However, I know there are a lot of causes in the world to support. You choose what works for you if that's the case. I don't want to preach or judge...but maybe slightly encourage. :) The feeling of being able to help someone live a quality of life that they have a right to live is beyond happiness.

We will be sponsoring another child after September and once Gadisa is old enough to understand sponsorship we would like to have him have a sponsorship with a child his age. The $22 a month it takes to sponsor Joyce and the $35 a month to sponsor Emmanuel made a difference. And, that's all we could ever ask for.

If you are interested in sponsorship, the organizations we do this through our

World Vision (Emmanuel) and Children International (Joyce).

My boys

2010-08-10T10:33:00.007-05:00

Gadisa is 9 months old today! Just like everyone told me it would, it's going by so fast.

So, for his 9 month bday I thought I would share a little something about him and his dad.

Gadisa absolutely adores Josh. Josh can get him to giggle and squeal so much more than I can.

I adore sitting on the sidelines watching them learn things about each other and bond. They talk about sports, they listen to music...they hang out and be boys together. In the fall, Gadisa will learn a new side of his dad...Football Dad, then that will slowly transition to College Basketball Dad and then come spring/summer again, Kickball Dad. Yes, dear blog readers, my husband is a sports addict (football, soccer, college basketball, tennis, ...if competitive puzzle putting together was on TV he'd be into it). In the beginning it was not as existent as it is now. I tell him I was tricked! Now, I know it is what it is. I tell Josh that Gadisa does not like watching ESPN (insert the very annoying ESPN theme music here) and that he wants to watch the Lifetime and WE channels. Strange, he does not believe me.

So, anyways...here we are. A little family of 3. Just me and my boys. Happy 9 months, G! xoxo.

Mama Friends

2010-08-04T21:37:00.003-05:00

I am thankful for my Mama Friends. Friends that know exactly what you are going through because they've been there, done that. They get you when you vent, when you share how much you love your child, when you doubt your decisions in parenting and they are there with advice and suggestions. Mama friends are part of my village of support in raising our son. Thank you to all those wonderful ladies that told me to be happy, be REALLY really happy that he is attaching to me and starting to express he wants his mama a lot. And I really am. You are all right. I will not worry about whether he attaches to family or friends. That will come with time. When HE is ready, not me. To all my mama friends out there, I love you all!

Challenges

2010-08-03T15:09:00.002-05:00

Somehow my blog background disappeared, but that just gave me a reason to go searching for a new one. Fine by me, as I get bored with the same design if it's up there awhile.

The last week has been full of parenting challenges for us as Gadisa transitions and changes. In the time he has been with us, we haven't had much of a schedule because we have been adjusting to just being parents and getting to know everything about our son. We didn't have a set bedtime or a nap routine. So, we've been working on that and on his end, it is not met with much excitement. I know it will get easier as we stick with it, but he is not pleased to not be the one that bosses us around anymore. He's also getting very clingy to me. I was so happy that he would let anyone hold him and didn't seem to mind new people. Now, he starts to bury his head into my shoulder out of shyness when seeing someone he doesn't know well. And holding him? Forget that. He seems to just want his parents right now. Well, mainly his mama. I know I should be so happy he's bonding with us, but I really did want him to be comfortable with family and friends. Maybe it's a phase. I know I shouldn't stress about it. Kids go through different adjustment periods of attachment. He's been going through some serious fussy/upset moments throughout the day lately. You know, that kind of "I'm so mad I'm going to arch my back and throw myself around so you can barely hold onto me" kind of moment. These are so not fun. Especially when they happen in his highchair when I'm trying to feed him. He is teething so maybe that's part of the issue on top of his schedule changing. Whatever it is, it's a little frustrating to not be able to make him happy right away. And, then those big, HUGE tears come rolling down his face and I just can't stand to watch those. As Josh pointed out today when I was telling him nothing was making him happy except me holding him, he reminded me that this little guy has seen many caretakers come and go. The people that took care of him in his first few months just one day were not there anymore. It will take time, sometimes longer than we may think, for him to realize we. are. not. going. anywhere. I think this fussiness and tantrum era is just his way of letting us know "okay, I get it. Changes are happening." Let's just hope this era works it's way out soon. On the other hand, once he is happy, boy...does that little giggle and heart stopping smile make my day!! I wanted to post a picture of this upset highchair moment as that little face sure is not happy with me. However, I had to choose between taking the photo or holding him so he didn't slide right out of that highchair. So, no photo today!

A little of this, a little of that

2010-07-29T11:00:00.006-05:00

I've been working on our first post placement report. We have to turn in reports on Gadisa's well being and placement with us 3 months, 6 months and 1 year after we are home. After that, then we do a report every year until he is 18. These reports get sent back to Ethiopia so they can see how their children are adjusting with their American families. This first report is technically due in September to Ethiopia, but I have to turn it into our home study agency in August so I'm working on it now. By the way, how in the world is it almost August already? Anyway, the reports asks all the basic questions of how he's adjusting, his daily routine and how we're adjusting.

I'm also working on obtaining a Kansas birth certificate and legal name change for him as well. Technically, his legal name after the adoption was completed was Gadisa Joshua Hunt. That's just how they do it when issuing his passport and birth certificate. We'll be changing that to Oliver Gadisa Lyric Hunt and need to do this in front of a judge. Gadisa and I marched ourselves up to the county courthouse yesterday to start working on this process. This journey reminded me quickly of the paperwork fiasco's we dealt with in the adoption process of getting our Dossier together. When your child is home, you so very quickly forget about the long wait and the agony of the mounds of paperwork. It all has become a blur, but quickly rushed back to me yesterday in dealing with the court. Of course, the main person who could help me stepped out to lunch the second he referred to me another lady to make some copies. So, most of my questions about the proper way to go about the name change and birth certificate were not answered. After going through the paperwork process of an adoption, I have little patience for unanswered questions or anyone that can't answer my question. I'm telling you, this paperwork wears you out! So, as I was getting fussy with frustration, so was G. We left without really getting much accomplished and had to come home and make several calls and emails to various offices to piece together all what we need to do. You would think I was the first person ever to ask about this process around here. However, I think we are on the right track now and should be able to get this done when we meet with the judge.

Aside from this process, G is sitting up! He still falls over a lot, but can actually catch himself most of the time. When he came home he didn't have the muscles developed to sit up at all, so I'm really happy he's packed on the pounds and has gotten so much healthier so quickly.

I have started to do some things for myself again. I have not wanted to leave his side, but I know it's important to do things for me and my well being. I went to yoga class this week and honestly thought that my arms and legs just might actually pop off. I hadn't been to the class since around Thanksgiving and was definitely out of tune with yoga. It was good to get back into it and I look forward to Tuesday evenings for this!

So, for the past few months I have been struggling with a decision. A decision that affects my family greatly. This morning as I was discussing this with Josh over coffee and spoon banging (G's favorite thing to do in his highchair), he said something so profound, but so very simple that has made me realize this decision will be made very soon. Why hadn't I looked at it like this before? You know that feeling when you realized how great of a friend your husband or partner can be to you? That feeling when you know how much you rely just on the friendship of your relationship. Today, I am so thankful for that. And yes, I'll be sharing that decision soon enough!

Meeting the extended family

2010-07-26T12:24:00.004-05:00

We headed to Springfield, Mo this past week so that Gadisa could meet our extended families. Josh is from Springfield and almost all of my family on my dad's side lives there so it's nice to be able to see both sides in one trip. I think this was by far my favorite Springfield trip. He was showered with so much love from aunts, uncles, cousins and grandmas. We are so really fortunate to have such great family. They have stood by our side anticipating his arrival from the time we told them we were adopting. This little guy has so many people that have waited to love him. He is teething and his 2nd tooth made it's appearance while we were there, so we pretty much got no sleep and neither did he. We battled a pretty serious fever and fussiness for a lot of the trip, but when he was happy we were good. Might I just add when your baby is burning up laying against your chest how helpless you feel!

My sister-in-law threw a baby shower/welcome home party for him. Now, let me just say the Hunt sisters are very talented and quite creative so we got some amazing handmade gifts. One of them was a personalized book written and illustrated by one of Josh's sisters. This book is so precious to me and I can't wait for Gadisa to ask to read it over and over. Here are some photos of it and some of the other gifts we received. Really, the greatest gift is just watching all of the family love on him. It gets me every time.

A very good Saturday

2010-07-19T23:01:00.002-05:00

We welcomed Gadisa home on Saturday with a BBQ and pool party. It was such a success. We hadn't had a lot of people over in a long time (we tend to entertain a lot) and it warmed my heart to have our home filled up with amazing, supportive friends ...new and old. The food was really great and the weather was steamy and hot so the pool got a lot of visitors, which I love. We are so very lucky to have a network of friends and family so close. I want Gadisa to know everyone and appreciate what good friends and family mean in our lives. He woke up in a great mood that day. He loves to be around people and stimulated with conversation and activities, so he was awake for a good portion of his party. It was a very, very good day!

A moment to reflect

2010-07-15T00:31:00.001-05:00

One month ago today we met Gadisa. One month ago today, our worlds forever changed. I picked up his tiny, fragile body. I studied him. He studied me. We saw each other. He smiled and I was forever in awe. I inhaled him. I touched him. I was in shock that moment had arrived. He was skinny and petite. So much smaller than we thought. Now, he's getting chunky little baby legs, a round belly and fat little cheeks. Aside from the expected changes of becoming a parent I am discovering a peacefulness I have only momentarily brushed on here and there in the past. It's not like I went out and was looking to find anything I was missing except him. However, this peace found me. It's as if it was always meant to be. This exact child. This exact life. I felt an urgency when we were completing our adoption paperwork. I wasn't sure why. I just felt this rush, like it had to be completed as fast as possible so we could get on the waiting list. Our agency was shocked when we turned in our Dossier so quickly. Now, I understand why we had to rush. Gadisa was waiting. This very exact little boy was made. He was alive. He needed us and we needed him. We were always supposed to be. To finally know Gadisa now...well, it's overwhelming with emotion. When I think of this, I always find my way to his birth parents. They were his pathway into this world and we now hold his hand through it. They are always in my mind, always in my heart and so important to us.

Being his mother is so natural. My days of being at work are now filled up with tummy time in the sunshine, swinging on the front porch and tending to our house and making it our home. I realize how much sitting in front of a computer for hours each day has blocked living my life and has made me miss so much of the day to day of it. The simplicity of it. Granted, it's nice to be out and about and in an office with creative, fun people and I know it's good to get out and interact, but right now is for a different time. Now is for enjoying it all as much as possible as I know the days are numbered. He will be walking, he will be running, he will be in school before we know it. Right now, I don't want to miss a thing. However, reality is in the back of my mind and that's okay too. I worked really, really hard for my job and it allows me to live the life I choose . But, right now...today, I am just being me with my son and Josh. Living our lives. Spending each and every day with sweet, beautiful Gadisa.

A little party boy

2010-07-13T09:51:00.006-05:00

Someone is gearing up for a little Welcome Home shindig. See his excitement when he heard we were throwing a party for him?

This means a little stop in at the party store!

My sister & I definitely enjoyed the party glasses more than G did. ;)

Top 10 Favs

2010-07-04T12:57:00.009-05:00

So, finding time to blog and show how absolutely adorable Gadisa can be is getting tricky these days. I don't control my schedule like the old days. Everything revolves around when he's going to allow me some time to do these little things like blogging and sitting down for a moment to collect my thoughts. Regardless, I wouldn't change A SINGLE THING. I am loving our new life with him.

Last night was a hard night though. Little boy was not feeling so hot and was up crying (screaming) for hours straight. I was quite proud of our tag team effort to soothe him and take turns with him. This first photo is after he was back to sleep. He was exhausted. Even our pets this morning all looked like no one got any sleep. The dogs kept coming in the bedroom looking at us like "What the heck are you guys doing to him?!"

So aside from being zombies, I wanted to share my top 10 favorite things about him.

1. His smile. It makes everything just perfect. I mean, seriously...everything is so much better when he gives us that huge, sweet grin.

2. His laugh. He sure thinks his dad is hilarious.

3. How much he loves his maraca. It makes him so happy. I'm enjoying the time before it starts flying across the room! Notice it in 2 of the photos above.

4. Rocking him to sleep. His room has the best, most peaceful environment when it's bedtime. I cherish the moments I have with him when he's so tiny and precious and just laying his head on my shoulder drifting into dreamland.

5. The way he pats me back with his little hand when I'm patting his back to soothe him. I just inhale that moment.

6. His smell! Oh my gosh, I love the baby smell so much!

7. Our summertime walks. He loves to go for a walk and the peacefulness we both get from these goes a long way.

8. His love for music. He loves to beat on his drum, his xylophone and just about anything else. He calms down when the Ipod goes on and falls asleep to Nick Drake, Patsy Cline, The Beatles and Kings of Convenience among others.

9. His mood when he wakes up. He's so giggly.

10. How he just studies everything. Those big eyes just taking the world in. His curiosity and thoughtfulness I love to watch.

Don't get me wrong. I am fully aware that I am in the honeymoon stage of being a parent. We are exhausted and at times overwhelmed when we can't figure out why he's crying, but man...life sure is swell.

A week of adventure

2010-06-25T09:01:00.004-05:00

We did it! Big news from the Hunt household this morning. WE HAVE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! Whoop, whoop! Gadisa has been with us for a week and a half and the middle of the night greets us stumbling around half asleep to make a bottle. Some nights it's been waking up twice to feed him, other nights just once. Now granted, I know a lot of 7 month olds already sleep through the night, but not our little guy (until now). All the new stuff he sees every day, the time change, the entirely different world...all of it, keeps him restless. So, when I heard the little whimpers in the baby monitor I hurried in to him and then realized it was light outside. I checked the clock and sure enough it was 6 am. I'll take it!

Our first week has been full of adventure. For all of us. We've tried out the stroller (which is a big hit), the Johnny Jump Up (not so sure about), the swing (another favorite). We like sweet potato, carrots and as of this morning LOVE pears. I adore watching him try new things. Everything is new to him. This little guy has spent months in one room. I watch him just stare at things and take them in. I love it! He's met everyone at our office, made a trip to Target, a visit to the amazing toy store downtown and visited two doctors. A lot to cram in one week.

Both his doctor's appointments went pretty well. He's tiny they say, so we were told to feed him as much as he wants. Which is good because we thought we were overfeeding him. He has a few of those pesky predicaments that children in orphanages come down with, but we are treating them. He's gaining weight quickly though. From Monday - Thursday he gained 13 oz! He had some vaccinations yesterday and it took everything in me to not cry when he did. I am quickly a very protective mommy.

The diaper situation has been interesting. Our goal was to do G Pants. They are a biodegradable insert inside of a cloth cover, but also have a cloth option. Well, the first one did not go so well. Then a good friend told me how to properly put them on. Now, I think we are rolling! It's funny how excited I am about diapers now. I did try the good, old fashioned cloth diapers and it was definitely an amateur attempt. So, I need to work on my technique. Overall, we're doing pretty well. We are ecstatic to have him home. I just look at him and become overwhelmed with happiness and amazement. I love, LOVE being his mother.

Home Sweet Home

2010-06-20T19:24:00.002-05:00

We made it home Saturday evening. It was the longest, hardest bout of traveling I have ever done. 32 straight hours of traveling from the time we left our hotel in Addis until we arrived home at our house. We felt a tired that made us sick to our stomachs. Gadisa had a rough time on the plane from Rome to DC. My mom and sisters met us at the airport and took us home. It was amazing to have them stay the night and have dinner made for us. We finally got decent sleep last night.

I would definitely recommend future travelers to make sure you are rested up before you travel. There's so much to do to prep your home and life before you make this big life adventure, but I am not kidding when I say you will be worn down to pieces globe trotting to pick up your child. I think it was especially hard because we adopted an infant who does not sleep through the night yet.

Being home feels so good! This morning I was up bright and early with the birds chirping and I sat on the porch with G. The same porch that I sat on for months and months daydreaming about him. There he was in my arms, in the rocking chair letting me soothe him and just listening to birds. It is amazing to have him home, to have him in our house. I just keep pinching myself. He has been in a wonderful mood today. He has been super smiley and I can't stop kissing him!

So... about Addis Ababa. It is eye opening. An experience we will never forget. Unfortunately, I did feel sick most of the time we were there. I was very careful about what we ate, but the pollution is very strong that it was overwhelming every time we were in a car. The people are so gentle and upbeat and they love babies! He was constantly played with by everyone. A lot of Ethiopians speak English so we were able to communicate well for the most part. We took a ton of photos. I have so much to tell Gadisa about his home country as he gets older.

We were able to check on some children for other waiting families and it felt so good to be able to update them. Our friends got their referral while we were there and we were able to visit him as well. We are so excited for them and their family. I can't wait for them to bring this beautiful, sweet boy home!!

Tomorrow we go to the doctor. There are few things we are concerned about, but hopefully they are minor. He seems to be adjusting very well. He does not have a problem letting anyone new hold him and I had planned to be hesitant about that at first, but he likes people and seems comfortable. He's such a snuggler!

US Citizenship

2010-06-17T11:46:00.005-05:00

Well, Gadisa is now officially a US Citizen. We passed through our Embassy appointment today. Whew. He must have been nervous because as soon as it was our turn at the window (where they quiz you on the situation to confirm the adoption and give their official citizenship status) he threw up. Nice. We have both been pooped on, peed on and puked on. The triple P's. Ahh...parenthood.

We are repacking our suitcases to head home tomorrow. It's been a very long trip. I'm more than ready to get into the swing of our new life!

Oliver Gadisa Lyric Hunt

2010-06-17T04:09:00.004-05:00

Finally, our son. Blogger has not worked for me here for a few days so I'm excited to finally update the blog. We met Gadisa on Monday. He is absolutely beautiful, amazing and oh so precious. Life will never be the same. We went on Monday to do paperwork at the adoption office and they surprised us by having him there. We thought he was in the orphanage, which was where we were headed next. He was lying on the floor of the nursery when we walked in. I went in first and he greeted me with this huge smile. My heart completed melted. We have our Embassy appointment in a few hours and to our surprise this little paperwork issue that was resolved seems to be unresolved...AGAIN. Hard to believe. We are anxious to come home and just hope we are able to stay on course with leaving tomorrow night. Josh is at the adoption office right now trying to work out what the issue is.

We have learned that he is 7 months old, not 6 months. His birthday is November 10, 2009. Although, he seems tiny to me and the size of a 5 or 6 month old. He's got a cold so that's making him a little fussy. He loves to be held and cuddled. He loves his daddy! Josh can make him laugh and smile...it is so adorably cute. He also likes to watch the World Cup matches on TV, so him and his dad will definitely get along well in that sports department.

We have named him Oliver Gadisa Lyric Hunt. I have loved the name Oliver for years. Gadisa is his Ethiopian name and it's a name from the region in Ethiopia that he is from. Lyric...well, that is our tie to music. A song lyric can make you laugh, cry and soothe your soul. To us, he is Gadisa. That's how we've known him from day one. So, I think this little guy will go by both Oliver and Gadisa. A little confusing I understand, but he's just cute enough to pull off two names. So, whichever name you prefer to call him is good with us. We are so absolutely head over heels in love with him.

Arrived in Addis Ababa

2010-06-13T03:44:00.006-05:00

Arrived in Addis Ababa a few hours ago. These overnight flights are very tricky for a decent sleeping cycle. Even though the flight was shorter than it was from KS to Rome, it was on a smaller plane than an international flight normally is on. Very uncomfortable for 6 hours. VERY.

Here is the little face that we'll be looking at tomorrow. I can't believe the day is finally almost here!! Ahh...those ears. I love them so much!

Headed to Addis Ababa

2010-06-12T16:29:00.003-05:00

We are waiting to board the plane for Ethiopia. We can hardly believe it's time for this portion of the trip. The days are flying by and the time difference is tricky to catch up with. We lost part of a day while flying to Rome and that's thrown us off a bit. Before we know it, we'll be meeting our little guy! We had a lot of fun in Rome, but it was a very quick trip. We've got about a 6 hour flight to Addis Ababa and we'll be arriving there around 8:30 in the morning. I'll update you when we get settled into our hotel. We're just about through these stupid colds. So happy about that!!

Paperwork update

2010-06-11T07:49:00.001-05:00

Just got an email from our adoption agency that the Embassy has emailed them and stated they have the proper paperwork needed for our case for our Embassy date now. Yea!!!!!!!

Bonjourno

2010-06-11T07:27:00.004-05:00

We made it to Rome! So far, we've spent most of our time sleeping. We had to wait a few hours to check into our hotel and we're so exhausted we were almost falling asleep on the stairs of a nearby church. We then decided to head to our hotel and look pathetic in the lobby so they would let us check in early. It worked! ;) The trek over here and the colds we have made us so tired so it's nice to have several complete hours of sleep. I'm just about over mine and we're hoping to fight these off before we leave for Ethiopia so we don't get the baby sick. The report so far on Rome is 1. The architecture is amazingly beautiful 2. The traffic is horrific (we saw a car hit a person on a scooter, but that appears to be an hourly occasion) 3. Gelato....is a must have. It's so good. The plane ride over was interesting. It was a nice practice run for adjusting to the flight home. There was a "situation" (as our flight attendants referred to it) on the plane. A woman went a little nuts and took some pills and started punching people. I kid you not! So, I suggest if you want to take a lot of pills and then start hitting people, to NOT do it when traveling internationally, as it''s not really going to work in your favor. It did keep us restless travelers preoccupied for a few hours. Well, off for some sight seeing....

And...we're off!

2010-06-09T07:15:00.005-05:00

Well, the time has come. We are leaving for a journey of a lifetime. We think everything will get processed in regards to the paperwork that was missing. It's been resent and that's about all we can do, so we are moving onward.

Off to Rome till Sunday and then to Ethiopia. We are excited! However, we are both fighting awful colds. It's unfortunate with the timing. I wish we were more rested and feeling better, but not much we can do. I am overwhelmed with emotion right now. Our journey has been a little over a year in the making since we officially started the adoption process. I have been through every emotion possible during it. I've been brought to my knees with excitement, sadness, hopefulness, disappointment, frustration, joyfulness and on and on. We step forward in the next chapter of our lives not knowing exactly what we will face, not knowing exactly who this little guy is and not knowing really his history. We are traveling across the world to bring home this little soul that our lives have been shifted around. Sometimes just that complex thought stops my breath. We will make mistakes, we will do things right and we will get up when we fall down. Together as a family of 3, I can't wait to see what life holds for us from this point forward. However, we will not do it alone. I truly believe that it takes a village to raise a child. We have received so much love and support from family, friends and new friends we've made along the way. I am forever grateful to each and everyone for their well wishes and excitement. With our "village" of family and friends, I look forward to it all.

Gettin' there

2010-06-08T07:55:00.002-05:00

A summer thunderstorm greets us early this morning and right as we were about to walk out the door to visit the immigration office again we got a call from the person that can help us with this. They are resending this super important document and we have confirmation it was already sent to the Embassy once. I have faith this will be resolved shortly.

Jumping through hoops

2010-06-07T16:54:00.005-05:00

Well, that trip to the Immigration office did not get us anywhere. Apparently, the one and ONLY person in the United States of America that can help us right now left the office early today. Really?! We were told to come back tomorrow morning and "hopefully" this person can talk to us between their scheduled appointments. All the offices we spoke to on the phone directed us to the Immigrations office in KC and this person is our only hope right now to work this out. So, we're headed back up there bright and early tomorrow morning to try and get this sorted out. The entire day has felt like the movie "Idiocracy." Seriously. It's been a very trying day to say the very least. If we can't get this worked out tomorrow, we need to cancel our Rome plans and just plan on going straight to Ethiopia. I find myself wondering how in the world this happened? One tiny little thing overlooked in someone's office and here is the situation that unfolds because of it. Considering the inconvenience this has caused, we are taking this as best as we can. Today is our 9 year anniversary of being together and we just kind of looked at each other today and took a moment to high five each other in congratulations of our relationship and kept going. Haha. I know it will get worked out...it's just a matter of when. So, the rest of the day brings us to continuing our plans of packing. In the meantime, here are some photos of the baby's room. He's already packed!

Big, HUGE snag

2010-06-07T10:46:00.003-05:00

We were informed today that the US Embassy in Ethiopia thinks our fingerprints are expired and a form desperately needed to complete our adoption was never received in their office (a form that the US Visa office is supposed to send to Ethiopia when they approve you to adopt.)

Big, major problem. We are headed to Kansas City to the Immigration offices to work this out as clearly this is a mistake and all of our paperwork states that our fingerprints do not expire until March 2011. In dealing with Immigrations in the United States NO ONE will help you unless you make an appointment to discuss your case IN PERSON. In fact, the KC Immigration office does not even list their phone number and any communication with them is online. Perfect. Right now, we are working the phones and the different angles we can to clear up this miscommunication. Since I know it's a mistake, I can only hope it can get cleared up before we leave on Wednesday. If it's not cleared up before our Embassy date on June 17, well....we won't be having an Embassy appointment if that's the case.

Extremely annoyed and frustrated right about now. I'll keep you updated.

Counting the days

2010-06-01T09:55:00.003-05:00

Well, the flights are booked. We leave on Wed. June 9...next week! We were able to arrange it so that we spent 2 days in Rome. Our last few days as just the two of us. :)

We fly to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia on June 13. We are there until Friday, June 18. The flight home to the states is 16 1/2 hours! We then have a LONG layover in Washington DC which is 7 hours and don't get home until Saturday, June 19. We will be exhausted to say the least. With the World Cup going on during this time, there wasn't much to choose from for flights home. I have to say, I am definitely NOT looking forward to the flight home. 16 1/2 hours on a plane with a baby who most likely will be having some serious diaper situations going on is an intense challenge to throw at new parents. It has been done before though. I am just anxious to get him home and get us caught up on some sleep so we can get to know each other.

I do have to say I am LOVING maternity leave so far. My thoughts are slowing down and my pace of life is already different. No rush to check my phone and email. Hey...I even lost my phone for an evening and I didn't care. It was exhilarating...haha! I am starting to see how rushed we have been over the last several years. Our jobs have been our priorities and everything else just kind of works around that. The change is going to be so good for us. So, this week brings us to finishing the baby room and a few things around the house we needed to get accomplished before the baby arrives.

Oh yes...and the name. You can thank Mr. Hunt for this, but I highly doubt we will be naming him before we meet him. I have a few names I love, but Josh is hesitant to settle on a name until we see him. I get it.

Full steam ahead

2010-05-26T16:21:00.003-05:00

We are now confirmed for a June 17 Embassy date. We need to be in Ethiopia on Sunday, June 13 and will be meeting our son on Monday, June 14 it looks like. We are now booking our flight and accommodations.

I'm actually not stressed either. I'm able to finish work tomorrow, a day early. I was afraid this week would be brutal at work, but it's been so smooth. We are quickly getting through our big checklist of stuff before we travel. It feels good to cross stuff off of our list.

Baby shopping was well...intimidating. We definitely had some snags on whether we needed stuff, what kind of stuff, etc. We must have looked really lost at Babies R Us because we had about every employee in the store ask us if we needed help. We got most stuff, but really got stuck on the stroller/car seat situation. So, had to push that one to another day.

All in all, I think things are coming along nicely and it's the most amazing feeling to actually have a date....THE LAST DATE we will wait on finally confirmed!

Baby Shoppin'

2010-05-25T09:53:00.003-05:00

Well, the day has arrived to get our little man all the things he needs. Clothes, stroller, car seat, bottles...the list goes on and on. Trying to keep it as minimal as possible, but I'm sure it will be tricky to contain ourselves. I am ready to start crossing things off our HUGE to do list before we travel and this is big part of the "to do." I'm excited!

Last night we sat in his room. We have this little thing that projects stars on the wall and ceiling. In the dark, there we sat with the glow of the stars and moons projected throughout his room. It was such a moment. Sitting there in silence in his new little world that awaits him. Just sitting there taking it all in.

The final stretch

2010-05-23T13:01:00.005-05:00

Friday can not come soon enough. My last week of work....FOR MONTHS! I can not express how much I am looking forward to minutes, days, weeks of just going through each day one at a time with our son. I know the days will fly by and I'll greet them with exhaustion, but to be able to put 100% attention and focus on our little guy makes me feel so lucky and fortunate to be able to do so. And to think...I wasn't even really considering a maternity leave when we first started this process. How in the world did I think that?! I thought I would take maybe a month off (if that), but once I saw his little face it became my number one priority. Take care of him, love on him, watch him, make sure he's adjusting and that he is healthy. I am doing a lot of thinking about his adjustment & bonding with us. A lot of adoption prep and training has taught us to be prepared for him to have issues bonding and attaching at first. He is not used to sleeping without a "crib mate." He is not used to having his every need met. He is not held all day or soothed when he cries right away. These first few days and weeks with him will be so important. I have to warn friends and family now, please do not take offense if you do not hear from us right away when we get home. It's so important for him to identify Josh and I as his number one providers. We want to make sure he's healthy and adjusting okay as soon as possible and that is our priority when we get home. We have doctor's appointments scheduled right when we come home and I'm sure I'll feel better once he's been checked out in the states. Hopefully, this bonding and adjustment will happen very quickly. I want him to get to know our lives and everyone in them. Plus, it's summer time almost. I have so much anticipation to put him in a stroller and cruise around town.

This is the latest photo we have of our son. I stare at this several times a day and can barely hold back tears each time. I just look at those eyes. He just looks so curious to me in this photo. I wonder what his story is. I wonder about his birth family, his history. I pretty much wonder everything about him.

Just realized...

2010-05-19T15:55:00.003-05:00

Right after I posted that last post, I just realized this. That it is exactly one year ago today that we were approved by our first agency to adopt. Our process was just beginning and here we are...almost done. Whew.

Crunch Time

2010-05-19T15:36:00.002-05:00

Early morning emails are turning out to be the most wonderful news ever. It was an early morning email that informed us of passing court. Me rushing around to get ready for the day and Josh reading an email from his phone first thing in the morning. Well, today as I'm sitting there getting ready for work, once again, I am read an email full of hope and amazement.

"Dear Josh and Casey..it is looking like your Embassy date will be June 17. "

We were informed this is NOT confirmed yet and we should know next week for sure. We were told do NOT pay for your airline tickets yet, but get to working on some details. So, that means we need to be in Ethiopia by Sunday, June 13....that's 3 1/2 weeks! Wow. That is so much sooner than I thought. Plus, we are spending 2 days in Europe (somewhere) on the way there. We figured we're going to have a layover that direction anyways and I've never been so why not stop for a few days?? That puts us leaving the week of June 7 and that also means we'd be with our son on our wedding anniversary on June 16. Again, WOW.

The list of to do's starts rolling around in my head. SOOO much is left to do. We have a shorter amount of time to do it in. I have a shorter amount of time to get my work world ready to hand over to someone else. Okay, breathe. We will get it done. We will be fine. One step at a time and soon, so soon, we will be with our son.

How fortunate are we if this is really our date? That's all I can keep thinking. This is sooo fast and we know it. It doesn't normally go this fast for families. We have been oh-so-fortunate on every step of the way so far. So very fortunate. So, now... it is definitely crunch time.

June ?

2010-05-11T10:13:00.004-05:00

We were told today in about 3 weeks we need to start making our travel arrangements. 3 weeks!!

What that means is that HOPEFULLY in about 3 weeks we will have been assigned an Embassy date, which is when we need to be in Ethiopia. Ahh, THIS is really happening! It is looking like our Embassy date will be closer to about the 6 week mark from now. That could change, but if it is, that would put us in June. June!? Next month. June is a great month and significant to us. Josh and I started dating in June. We got married in June. My middle name is June. And, I hope that this magical month of June brings us our son!

Happy 5 months!

2010-05-10T10:51:00.004-05:00

Today Baby Boy is 5 months old! Oh, how I wish we were with him already. We are missing those precious first months and let me tell you, it's hard! I missed him so much yesterday. I've been a busy bee getting his world set up at home. And the name process...we're getting there. Not quite done choosing which names we like the most.

My wonderful, thoughtful husband showered me with the most beautiful flowers yesterday for my first Mother's Day. I know we are almost done with this long journey, but the point is ALMOST. Not quite there. Not completed. And, that's how I feel right now. Not completed until he is home with his family.

Here's to you little one. Happy 5 months old today! We love you so very much. You are our world and we anxiously await to meet you.

Transitioning

2010-05-06T08:25:00.005-05:00

So, now it's crunch time. There is a little more paperwork to complete, we have to get the baby room ready and all those baby supplies we need. We need to figure out our travel costs, but will hold on booking anything until our Embassy date is confirmed. A family that recently passed court is in Ethiopia now and the time between them passing court and traveling was right at the 6 week mark. If that's the case for us, that puts us traveling in mid June. We have so much to do before then. Plus, we have to get everyone at our office ready to take on our tasks while we are gone. I'm still coming to terms with maternity leave. I can't imagine being able to completely turn off my email and work role for several weeks. Part of me thinks I won't want to come back and the other part of me thinks I'll have a hard time not checking in. :) Since we own the business it's definitely a tricky thing to balance. We definitely need 2 incomes. Hard to tell what's really going to happen and a lot of that depends on his adjustment when he's home. So, the saga of not really knowing what's happening continues! All we do know is we have a beautiful, amazing son waiting to come home. We are both still in a dream world. This month marks our 1 year anniversary of starting the adoption process. I admit, I do feel a little guilty for being able to pass court the first time. I follow other family's struggles as they try to pass several times. There is no rhyme or reason as to why some families pass easily while other's don't. It's just heartbreaking to hear of families still waiting to bring their children home.

This photo shows our new dining room table centerpiece. Little shoes stare back at us at each meal. A symbol of what is to come in just a few weeks. Funny thing about these shoes. Here is our conversation about them:

Josh - "Why don't these shoes have any shoe laces? Did you grab a pair that were missing laces?"

Me - "Haha! No, that's the style of them. They don't come with laces."

Josh - "Are you sure? Did the other pairs on the rack have laces?"

Me- (while laughing even harder) - "No, that's how they are made. It's stylish. Kids are wearing them like this and now they just make them without laces."

Josh - "Hmmm...that's weird. That doesn't make any sense?"

Me - "You just became a dad 2 days ago. Did you already lose your "coolness?"

Ahhh..we both got a good laugh out of that one.

Tuesday, May 4 just changed our world

2010-05-04T09:49:00.004-05:00

It's official! Baby boy has a forever home and we have a son. We are overwhelmed with joy! We have a lot of questions to ask our agency for the next steps, so I will keep you updated. We need to settle on a name now!

I just may go crazy today

2010-05-03T09:51:00.002-05:00

I'm anxious. I'm nervous. It's hard to do anything else today, but wonder. Can we beat the odds and be THAT family that passes court on the first try? Can we even be so selfish as to ask for an answer either way today? Yes, note the sarcasm. :)

A Chinese Fortune

2010-05-01T15:15:00.002-05:00

I don't generally eat a lot of Chinese food. I have to REALLY be in the mood for it. However, that might change. Here was my fortune today from my fortune cookie:

"An airplane ride is soon in your future sending you to fun!"

I about dropped my fork.

Timing

2010-04-30T23:13:00.003-05:00

I just realized something. Josh will be out of town next week for an event in Little Rock we do every year. He leaves on Thursday and our court date is Monday. Sometimes it takes several days to hear the news. Generally, when that happens you haven't passed. How awful to not be together to hear the news! Arrgh! I hope we hear something by Wednesday.

As simple as a porch

2010-04-28T08:09:00.003-05:00

My sanctuary. My front porch. You'll find me here 70% of the time from April - October. I rock, I think, I drink coffee, I drink wine and I daydream. I hide behind the plants and watch the neighborhood. I have spent countless days on this porch with good friends and deep felt conversation. Josh and I have laid out many plans for ourselves on this front porch. Where ever life may take us, what ever it may unfold for us, I hope to always have a front porch.

Today is the beginning of some changes around here. I have been in a rut the last few weeks, months...maybe years. I'm not really sure. All of a sudden I realize we have just a few months (I certainly hope it's only that) until our free time is no longer really ours all the time. And I've discovered that I don't really know where my time goes, but that I have somehow been wasting it. I'll look back at life without a child and really tell myself that I had all this time I didn't use.

So, today I start to use it. Yoga, Buddhism, reading, blogging, writing, sewing...all these little things that make me up or interest me are my focus. Ahh...yes...and this front porch. We have spent too much of our lives planning our next move and when you're involved in an adoption process all you can do is hold your breath and plan and squirm. Right now, right in this moment. I just need to live. Okay....and plan maybe just a little. ;)

Calender confusion

2010-04-27T12:15:00.003-05:00

We were told our court date was just plain incorrect when it was first given. Apparently, the calendar conversion was just off. Ethiopia is on a completely different calendar than ours and it's 2002 there. It's a different month and a different date too, so it's not even an exact 7 or 8 year difference. I've tried to learn about it. I've read about it & it still doesn't make sense to me.

So, it's either May 3 or May 5 for our first court date. Either way, it's next week. I don't expect to hear for a few days whether we pass or not on the first try. In the meantime, I need to stop worrying about it. I feel it will happen when it happens and I'll have my moments of frustration and helplessness when I have them. I just need to accept it all as it comes.

I spent the rainy, cold Sunday finishing the baby mobile. It didn't turn out the way I exactly imagined, but I like it! I also made baby boy's prayer bead bracelet. Josh wears one and I've been wearing mine as a necklace, but I think I'll do a bracelet as well.

Expect the unexpected

2010-04-20T22:28:00.005-05:00

We were informed today that our court date is May 3. Don't really know what happened to our April 24 date. Now, we have to wait 13 MORE days to wait to hear something about our case. I'm annoyed, but not surprised. I didn't even flinch when I read the news. "Expect the unexpected" is what you hear about adoption. I'll be happy when I expect nothing more than a regular, crazy day of life with our little guy running around.

I hate waiting. I despise it. To wait for a child is uncharted territory for me. However, I am convinced there is no wait like it.

The baby corner

2010-04-18T13:57:00.004-05:00

Little by little I'm stocking up on some goods for baby boy. Most of the stuff is coming from Etsy.

Notice the little doll. I absolutely adore this doll. It was made by loving, creative hands and I'm so happy to have this as part of our journey. http://www.etsy.com/shop/SerendipitysGarden

Even Josh is getting on Etsy and buying some baby things. Love the scooter onesie!

We are enjoying our last trip as just the two of us this weekend...well, the 8 of us really as a lot of our office is out here with us. Loving Coachella!

We have court in less than a week. Oh, please please PUH-LEASE let us pass the first time. :)

Travel Warning

2010-04-14T23:27:00.002-05:00

A travel warning to Ethiopia was issued by the State Department about traveling during the election time in Ethiopia. This deeply bums me out as we were planning on doing everything we could to see one or both of our sponsored children in Africa while we were there.

One is in Uganda and one is in Zambia. I was a bit nervous about traveling between countries before, but now it just seems like it's out of the question. We were going to do this before we went to Ethiopia, as there's no way I'm traveling all over Africa with our baby boy.

All in all, I would say I am definitely intimidated about traveling to Ethiopia this summer and I hate that. I know there are so many beautiful things to see and experience in Africa, but within the last 2 weeks I've read some articles of some pretty serious stuff going on over there. Since it seems to be taking longer for Embassy dates to be issued, it may not be until later in July when we travel, so perhaps we'll just miss the election period...so hard to really tell.

Here's the warning:

April 13, 2010

The State Department alerts U.S. citizens of the risks of travel to Ethiopia before and after national parliamentary elections scheduled for May 23, 2010, and recommends against all but essential travel to Ethiopia during this period. This Travel Alert expires on July 1, 2010.

Past elections in Ethiopia have featured violence in Addis Ababa and other areas of the country throughout the campaign season, the election, and especially in the days and weeks following the announcement of election results. Election results are scheduled to be announced June 21, 2010.

U.S. citizens should be aware that even peaceful gatherings and demonstrations can turn violent. U.S. citizens residing in or traveling to Ethiopia during this period are reminded to maintain a high level of security awareness at all times and avoid political rallies, demonstrations, and crowds of any kind. U.S. citizens should avoid polling places on election day, and be aware that authorities will strictly enforce specific prohibitions such as photography at polling stations. U.S. citizens are advised to monitor the situation via local media sources and the Internet. Significant traffic congestion, shortages of lodging availability, and large crowds throughout the country, particularly in Addis Ababa, are likely to inconvenience travelers. In addition, telephone services may be disrupted, as occurred during the 2005 elections.

Travelers also are reminded that extremists from Somalia and the heavy military buildup along Ethiopia's northern border pose risks to safety and security, particularly along Ethiopia's borders and in the Somali region. In southern Ethiopia along the Kenyan border, banditry and incidents involving ethnic conflicts are also common. Travelers should exercise caution when traveling to any remote area of the country, including the borders with Eritrea, Somalia, Kenya and Sudan. Ethiopian security forces do not have a widespread presence in those regions. For additional information, please see the most recent Country Specific Information for Ethiopia on our web site at www.travel.state. gov.

U.S. citizens living or traveling in Ethiopia are encouraged to register with the U.S. Embassy through the State Department's travel registration web site to obtain updated information on travel and security within Ethiopia. U.S. citizens without Internet access may register directly with the nearest U.S. Embassy. By registering, U.S. citizens make it easier for the Embassy to contact them in case of emergency.

What Sundays Are For

2010-04-12T10:23:00.005-05:00

I absolutely love being an aunt. "My kids" are amazing. Amazingly funny. I was able to hang out with them yesterday. Warm sunshine, open fields and just an awesome Sunday afternoon.

They told me they can't wait to meet their new cousin. They called him their "cousin." I was so happy about this. When we first told them we were adopting, they referred to him as "our orphan child". This made me laugh and laugh. I had to correct them after I was finished laughing. It was so sweet that in their eyes he is already their cousin. I can't wait to see them all play together...

I don't get it

2010-04-09T13:06:00.007-05:00

I read this story today and I'm outraged. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/10/world/europe/10russia.html

My heart goes out to this boy as I can not imagine what he is facing and thinking about this experience. My heart goes out to the families that are in the middle of a Russian adoption and now have had their case put on pause indefinitely. What happened that made this woman feel so desperate as to send this child alone back to Moscow? We can not dictate how a child will act or be when they come into our lives, whether biologically or through adoption. There is absolutely no control over that and the situations that older children go through on their own before they are adopted are out of our hands. Now, because of this situation so many other families are dealing with the consequences and even worse, this child is hurting and is going back into the system. This just makes me so mad. Adoption is a strenuous, delicate situation. You have to ready to endure a lot, even more so when you choose to adopt an older child, but they are not "returnable." They are human lives and some have tragedy inter woven in those lives. Now, I like to think that there are 2 sides to every story and clearly I have no way of knowing what the other side fully is, but in the end, this child is now more vulnerable than before. And now, the system for adoption in Russia will be changing. Which, if it can help prevent a tragedy like this from happening, I am all for. I can only hope they work out their new regulations quickly so that families that have so much love to give a child can finish the process of their adoptions and these children can have forever homes. It's just so very, very disappointing to read this story. I truly do wonder how the situation could have been so bad to think sending him on his way back to his birth country alone would be the answer. I just don't get it.

Sharing a blog...

2010-04-08T10:39:00.004-05:00

In falling in love with blogging, I have started a blog for my little company, ReLive. I wanted an outlet to talk about more than just our products (although, there will be a little of that), but to share all things natural, whole living and eco friendly goodness.

http://reliveorganics.blogspot.com/

A little goes a long way

2010-04-06T20:58:00.002-05:00

I got a tiny, teeny bit of news about our little guy. A traveling family was able to see him and check on him for us. I was worried about his eyes as his medical record says he squints his eyes. Just this little bit of an update made me so so happy! This is what made my day today:

"I talked with the nurse about him. He has gained a lot of
weight and looks very healthy. He's still small, but no squinty eyes. His eyes
are big and beautiful, he follows you and voices with his eyes. Very alert."

We do NOT have to travel for court

2010-03-31T11:38:00.005-05:00

So, we do NOT have to travel for our court date since the date was issued before or on April 9. This is a relief financially, but I also would have been a little excited to see him on April 24 for court. Let's just hope we pass court quickly.

The process of court is so that we can be granted as his legal parents by an Ethiopian judge. I've seen that it's kind of rare to pass court the first time. Most families with our agency pass by the 3rd time.

Many factors come into play for court to make you not pass. We are told that incomplete or missing paperwork on a child or MOWA not being able to be at your court date are 2 big factors of not passing court. MOWA stands for Ministry of Women's Affairs and they have to write a recommendation for approval for a family to adopt. If that's missing at court time you will not pass. Also, if a child was relinquished, someone from that child's family needs to appear in court and if they can't make it you do not pass. So...this is why there are some issues with not passing the first time. I'm seeing families get quickly rescheduled though if they do not pass, so that gives me some reassurance.

Right now, we are just focusing on April 24 and sending that date good thoughts. If we pass on that date then that should put us traveling late May / early June.

Sunshine on a heavy heart

2010-03-30T13:10:00.006-05:00

I sit here in an airport waiting for my connecting flight home. Home...I miss it so much. I've not posted for a few weeks. Got caught up in the whirlwind of life. The last 12 hours have been emotional, exhausting, depleting and real. I went to LA to be with my family last week as my grandfather was dying. When we got there he perked up. He bounced back. He laughed, he smiled...he listened to us all make noise in his life. We thought we had more time and we thought he had dodged this once again. So, I booked my flight back yesterday evening. Last night, we lost my grandfather. In just a moment, it was his time. One moment he was talking and enjoying his family and the next he was finished with his journey here. He said he would hang on until we got there and he did. His stubbornness overruled all else, once again. I will always be grateful to him. He gave us all advice and guidance that we could not turn anywhere else for. His last days were filled with such happiness that it gives me a sense of peace to let him go. Not to say it isn't shocking that the time really came or that it's not breaking my heart, but I will see him again. I am so glad to have been there with my family in those last few moments. He was not alone and he was not in pain.

As I was walking thru the airport with a heavy heart and exhausted soul, Josh called me and told me we got a court date. April 24. The ability of life to throw you around, knock you down and then let the sun shine on you always leaves me amazed.

Well, THIS is interesting

2010-03-11T23:08:00.003-06:00

So, an interesting development has occurred.. Ethiopia just passed a new law stating that adopting parents must be at the court date in Ethiopian court in addition to traveling for the Embassy date (when we originally will travel to pick up our son). This means adopting from Ethiopia has just changed to two mandatory trips. This changes a lot. Pros and cons here. On one hand, it increases the expenses and it's difficult enough to budget out the entire adoption process with one trip as it is. Plus, it states both parents have to travel for the court date if there are two parents adopting, but only one has to be at the Embassy date, so for families that were not planning on having both spouses travel, this definitely changes their plans. On the other hand, the reasoning behind this is to protect the children and the adoptive parents. Parents will now be able to meet their child before they pass court and will be on site at the court date to see how everything processes. I think this can only involve us more in our adoption process (which I love) and it also gives us the opportunity to see more of our child's birth country. Plus, we would get to see our little guy sooner! Of course, it would be extremely painful to leave him as we can't take him home on the first trip. The courts want to personally meet the parents before they grant legally custody to them. I get it. I do. It's just going to be difficult for a lot of families currently in the process to figure in two trips. I know for us, we have to figure out how we are going to be away for 2 trips with work, but there's not too much we would have to work out. We'll figure it out. Right now we just have a TON of questions. Our agency is in Ethiopia right now so we are just waiting for more info to filter in from them. Another element of this new law is that it goes into effect after April 9. This means if we get a court date assigned to us BEFORE April 9 (even if the actual court date is after April 9) we do not have to travel for our court date. After April 9, 2010 anyone assigned a court date must travel to it. I think we have a chance to get a court date assigned to us before April 9, so maybe we do not have to make 2 trips. We will see. I just wish we had this info now. Everything seems so up in the air. Ahhh...I want to know when we are traveling! And, I want to know things we just won't be able to know for sure, such as how much time will be between traveling for court and traveling for an Embassy date? What if it's only a few weeks difference? Maybe one of us stays there to bond with our baby in between the travel dates?? Oh boy...so much to twist up in my little mind. :)

Who? What? Where? Why?

2010-03-09T11:32:00.004-06:00

I feel asleep last night thinking of his mama. His first mother, his birth mother. Although, I am not legally his mother yet, I am feeling the beginning stages of what it will be like to be his mother. The questions, the concern, the pain for his loss. I have SO many questions that we may never have answers to. HE may never have answers to settle his little heart. Who is she? Why couldn't she/they keep him? Who is his father? Does he have siblings?

We watched Adopted last night. I'm sorry if you have not seen it yet, but I'm going to give a bit of it away, so my apologies for spoiling it! It's a documentary following 2 families through transracial adoption. We were both glued to the TV and kept hitting pause to ask each other questions or talk about an issue right then. There was a scene that bothered us so much. A family was picking up their daughter in China and she was just kind of thrusted into the mother's arms, but she was so scared and clearly didn't want to go. It just seemed so forced and the little girl was upset. These people were strangers to her. She cried the whole time during the transition of picking her up. Ugh...how much I do not want that to be our situation when picking him up. I don't want to just take him instantly away from his caregivers. I want him to see us, hear our voices, look at our faces before we hold him. We are STRANGERS to him at that point. So much of the day of picking him up is out of our hands, but we will do our best to make it a gentle, slow transition. As much as I will be fighting back to run, hug him and kiss him...we just have to let him take it in. These little things, so many of these little things we could do so wrong. There is just so much to think about. A woman in the film makes a statement that the only reason she is here (with her adopted family) is because she was abandoned. No matter how much she was told they wanted her and how long they waited for her, she always knows this reason. I keep hearing this over and over in my head. As wonderful as our experience is on our end of finding out he exists & of getting prepared to bring him into our lives, the reason behind that is because there is a major loss on the other side. His loss. Their loss. And, he will carry this with him always. His parents & birth family will carry this always. And, Josh and I will carry this always.

Little Sweet Face

2010-03-04T11:49:00.006-06:00

A week and half has gone by since our referral. It feels so real now that we have a referral. We're aware anything can happen, but having his little, sweet face to look at everyday fills me with the most overwhelming emotion. I am in truly in love with this little guy.

We've been thinking of names, although we will keep his Ethiopian name as part of his name. We've got one name in mind that I've always been attached to and we both really like it, so that might just be the winner. I'll share that when we pass court. It's hard to name someone that you have not met though.

On Tuesday, we got our first round of travel vaccinations. I did okay on Tuesday with them. Had a very sore arm, but yesterday it felt like I had the flu and my arms were SO sore. My whole body hurt down to my fingertips! They didn't affect Josh as much. It just is a lot of chemicals to put in your body at once and I definitely am not okay with that. However, had to be done. Our next round of shots will be in April and then we'll have a 3rd round in September. By that time, I'm sure we would have traveled by then, but the 3rd round is just good to have to keep anything at bay.

We'll be starting to get our baby room together once we get a court date and then go fully into baby prep once we pass court. No word on a court date yet. I don't expect to find out about that till maybe the end of this month or sometime in April. We've got a lot of home projects and organization to get through now so good thing we have stuff to keep us busy because I do NOT want to be finishing up things a few days before we travel. I'm trying to make this transition as smooth as possible!

Starting to believe this is happening

2010-02-24T12:03:00.004-06:00

We have been showered with love! So many kind words and excitement from our family and friends about our great...no, not great... FANTASTIC news this week! I'm so so very excited and feel so lucky to have such amazing people in our lives.

So, we don't know much info about him. There are families traveling soon, so we'll get some photos of him. We can't show any photos of him until we pass court though. I am so grateful to the other families traveling that take the time to see the children waiting. It's amazing to have such support of someone knowing exactly what you are going through.

Our next step is waiting to get a court date...this could take a little bit. A court date will be set in the Ethiopian courts to determine us as his legal parents. We were told it could take up to 2 months to get a court date. So, more waiting. But, it's okay. Everything is ok, for now. We are just letting this sink in. Finally, a little face to put to all this waiting!

Once we pass through court, we'll be assigned an Embassy date. This is the date where we have to be in Ethiopia. I just hope this all moves smoothly from here...

THE call

2010-02-22T16:48:00.003-06:00

It happened. It came today. THE call that we have been waiting for since September actually happened. It was around 2:30 today. I was working from home and Josh called me and when I picked up he told me "Hang on, I'm conferencing HER in." "Her" is the woman from our agency. I knew what this meant. Everything else became an emotional blur. He came home right after the call and we were together to see our baby's photo and file come thru on email. I feel like I just exhaled after holding my breath for months.

We have a boy!! He is 2 1/2 months old and weighs 8 lbs. I can not believe it!!

Hopeful

2010-02-18T10:58:00.002-06:00

Lots of families are passing court right now. Lots of families are traveling this month to pick up their children. Good news! I am feeling more positive about our journey and keeping my chin up!

So Proud

2010-02-14T19:18:00.004-06:00

I love watching the Olympics. The competition, the rooting for your country and the best part...the network TV stories of an athlete's struggle to rise above their hardship to compete. It all gets me a little misty eyed. There's just that feeling of pride you get as a citizen of your country when you hear your country's anthem playing. A respect for your country's struggles and achievements. I always think of my parents when I hear our national anthem, as they were both Marines. I felt this sense of pride while watching the opening ceremonies the other night. Each country's athletes entering the stadium, one by one. There it was was. My country's entrance. Walking proud, carrying the flag, waving to spectators. There I was clapping and cheering them on, fully aware I was caught up in a moment of being super cheesy. :) Only it wasn't my native country I was cheering on. It wasn't the country I was born, raised in and currently live. It was the country I've taken on as my other love. It was the country that I've filled my head full of stories, history and culture. Any little bit of info about it, I soak it up. It was the country of our future child. It was the country that we are fighting so hard to become a part of. It was Ethiopia entering the stadium. Before I even realized what I was doing, I was instantly seeing Ethiopia as my own country. Just like I see and cheer on the US. It made me happy, it made me proud. I have never even been to this country yet and it is already fully embedded into my heart. The colors of the flag, the name "Ethiopia." Already as familiar to my eyes, just as much as the "United States of America." I can not wait to visit. I can not wait to give our child all the information on their country's history, customs and culture. I can not wait to be an Ethiopian American family.

Chasing peace

2010-02-10T23:12:00.005-06:00

It's been awhile since I posted. A little too long. I was hoping that my next post, THIS post, would be our referral news. But, that's a big no. So...we keep living our lives (as if we have any other choice.) So, what have I been doing these last few weeks? Getting organized and centered. Physically, mentally and emotionally. And, it feels amazing! I've worked on my home office and it's instantly my new mecca of creativity. I have been inspired by other bloggers and crafters on Etsy to put time into myself and my creative spaces. I work on this all the time. It's a constant struggle and I have more luck with it at times than others. I am always chasing that inner peace. That bit of tranquility that will evolve me into the person I truly need to be for myself. I imagine who that person would be if I wasn't chasing all these dreams, all these aspirations. If I had HOURS in the day to really learn, explore and evolve instead of cramming it into tiny moments. I feel like when this baby arrives, I will figure all that out with him (yes, I'm calling it a him already). Kind of like it will all make sense and come together in that moment he's in our lives. I am feeling very inspired these last few weeks and at the same time I have been on a roller coaster of emotions. I had a pretty bad day last week...or maybe it was this week..or maybe it was both. I was feeling rushed to get things organized before our referral, running around like crazy until I hit a wall and realize I needed to stop and listen to my breath. So, I did. I sat there with my eyes closed in a moment of meditation and instantly I felt calm. Centered. At peace with my hectic self. I went through this array of emotion right smack in front of my computer. The one place you shouldn't be when you're looking for peace. But this..this absolutely amazing website brought it to me. I must share: Organic Spa Meditation Room. Click on Launch The Meditation Room. It reminded me to stop. Stop rushing, stop over thinking. Just live, simply...in the moments that I can.

Tick tock, tick tock

2010-01-26T15:13:00.003-06:00

We still wait. January is almost over and no referral yet. One of our agency employees is traveling to Ethiopia on Feb. 5 and said she hopes to return with referrals.

Hmmm....that's over 2 weeks away. And, how long is she staying there? I don't know.

In the meantime, I'm busy being a soap maker. I'm busy being a marketer. I'm busy with random, mundane tasks of my house. I'm busy being a KU basketball fan.

ReLive needs my attention so I can make it flourish this year more so than ever.

Velocity needs my attention as we are now underway for our 2010 concert season at Sandstone.

www.sandstoneamp.com

But, I need my attention to go to that little someone. Ugh...this waiting!

I hope to have things in order with both companies so I can do a little of both and a lot of parenting when the time comes. Maybe I'm unrealistic. Maybe I'm in over my head. Or, maybe I'm just determined enough to make it all come together. I like to think I can pull this "maybe" off.

So, for today...I work and work some more! Off to make some soap. Here's a photo of our new batch of "Tart" - Lemon Mint.

Haiti needs our compassion

2010-01-15T08:17:00.011-06:00

I post this this morning as the headlines keep flooding in about the devastation in Haiti. Imagine our country being in this vulnerable situation. Our hospitals, our schools, our churches crumbled. Our family members missing. Our children buried at school under rubble. I ask you today to donate whatever you and your family can donate. Even $10 will supply 1,000 people with clean water for a day. Haiti needs our help. It needs our hearts and our hands. Please consider, in the end...we are all one.

To donate...

http://www.care.org/

American Red Cross

Feed The Children

Eyewitness account: "Everything is urgent" by Sophie Perez, CARE in Haiti country director Jan. 13, 2010

Sophie Perez, CARE's country director in Haiti, was in the CARE office in Port-au-Prince when the earthquake hit at about 5 p.m. local time Jan. 12, 2010. We reached her by phone at 6.30 a.m. local time Jan. 13.

"It was terrifying. The quake lasted for more than a minute. We were at the office when it happened, and the whole office was shaking really hard. People were screaming, crying, running. Everything was moving. I saw a building of nine floors completely collapse right in front of me. A bank collapsed. Even if a building isn't totally destroyed, you can't access the area because of the danger.

"Our staff who were with me in the office are safe, but most of their houses are collapsed. I've heard other aid workers from other agencies are still missing. Everyone is trying to find their families. It seems the whole city was affected – to the north, south, everywhere. It was difficult to get through the streets. Buildings have collapsed everywhere, and there is rubble blocking the roads. Many areas you can't go by car. You can only get through by foot, because there is so much debris.

"Last night, people were sleeping outside because they were afraid to go back inside their homes. Many of the houses are destroyed anyway. There were eight aftershocks last night. Thousands of people were sleeping in the streets.

"We're particularly worried about the children, because so many schools seem to have collapsed. In Haiti, children go to school in the afternoon. Children were still in school when the earthquake hit, so there are many children trapped. It's horrifying. The slums on the hills have also completely collapsed. We've heard of landslides, with entire communities being wiped out.

"I've been here for many years, and I've experienced a few small earthquakes. But I've never been through anything this strong. My house is okay, but I spent the night outside by the gate with my children. There were eight aftershocks during the night, and we woke up every time. My children are terrified. Everyone is terrified.

"It is just morning here now, and I can hear helicopters working on the search and rescue. The immediate need is to rescue people trapped in the rubble, then to get people food and water. Everything is urgent."

It was a success!

2010-01-09T12:46:00.004-06:00

So, our Ethiopian dinner turned out absolutely amazing. I'm quite proud, if I do say so myself.

I started cooking at 6pm and Josh came home from work and jumped in and helped. It was quite a long ordeal, but so much fun. We were done with cooking, eating and the dishes at 9:50. Sooo...I would say this is definitely a style of cooking that helps to do a lot of prep work the day before.

It was incredibly spicy. Too much for me, as I'm kind of a wuss with spicy. I'll have to tone it down next time. I can't wait to try it again! The injera didn't turn out the way I had hoped, so I do need to work on that more.

By the way, supposedly (and I do say "supposedly") we are NUMERO UNO on the list now for a boy. #8 on the list if we were preferring a girl, but, since we do not care whether it's a boy or girl I would say it's 99.99% a boy! Now, we're really focusing on those boy names.

We were told yesterday that we have to have our homestudy tweaked to be more specific with some wording, but luckily that will not affect us on our spot on the list. So, another trip up to Topeka to get it re-authenticated once our social worker makes those changes and then it's sent to Ethiopia again to be translated. We hope to have this on it's way to Ethiopia ASAP so they can insert it into our Dossier. Making this change should help avoid confusion when we have a court date and pass through court easier.

Ye Ganna Baal - Merry Christmas to Ethiopians!

2010-01-07T12:33:00.005-06:00

Today is Christmas in Ethiopia, referred as "Ye Ganna Baal." I have been looking forward to today for weeks. It's the first time we are making Ethiopian food! We did some prepping last night because the cooking is so different than we are used to. The cooking uses a ton of spices and I had to do some serious searching at the grocery store yesterday. We were going to visit the African markets in Kansas City, but the snow we are getting stopped us from venturing that way to get them. So, we had to prepare the spices from scratch.

We will be celebrating this every year, just as we celebrate our own American Christmas. By the time January rolls around we are pretty ready for Xmas to be over with, but this celebration and tradition for us will be a little different and mainly our celebrations will consist of a big Ethiopian meal. Our house smelled amazing last night. I'm anxious to see how everything turns out.

I'll post some photos of it, but here's what we are making:

Injera - it's the foundation to their meals and looks like a pancake. The dishes are served up in one communal platter and your roll up the food in the injera and eat it. Utensils are not used as the injera works as a fork or spoon.

Dora Wat - basically this is like a chicken stew.

Yataklete Kilkil -Gingered vegetable stew.

Once we get this cooking down, we do hope to have people over to experience it.

As far as an update on the adoption goes...we are getting ready to get our first series of travel shots. We're still waiting to hear about a referral. Right now, they are referring older children I guess. It seems we are just to keep waiting and try to be as patient as possible. I'm starting to look at baby stuff online. I've got friends talking about a baby shower, so I thought I would see what kind of baby stuff we'll need. I really wasn't planning on doing a shower, but after several different people bringing it up I realize we are going to need stuff and it would be a fun way to celebrate this experience with everyone. Plus, besides your wedding and baby shower, when else can you pick out stuff for people to get you! I do admit...that is pretty fun. I'm building a registry online and found one that lets me add stuff from my favorite online store...Etsy (all stores are products that are handmade).

Other than that, just trying to stay warm and really really hoping all this snow goes away and spring hurries up this year! I need some warm weather now more than ever.

2010...bring us goodness all around!

2010-01-01T13:16:00.007-06:00

Happy New Year! We are excited for 2010 and what it holds for us in many different areas of our lives. 2009 was a tough year, but we learned a lot and saw a lot of greatness in our lives and our future.

In 2009, I started this blog to give an outlet for everyone in our lives to stay up to date on this process as I don't generally like to talk about it all the time because well...we live it every day. Also, I feel that all of our friends and family have their own lives going on and we are just as interested in what's going on with everyone else so I don't want to sit around and discuss our adoption all the time. There is life to be lived! I don't like a lot of attention on myself and I was hesitant to start a blog for that reason. It's difficult to take down a wall and be so open and throw ourselves out there, but I also feel a sense of calmness in doing so. I do not think what we are doing needs to generate a lot of attention. People start families everyday. I am excited and anxious to meet anyone's new family members. A child or a baby entering a family is an amazing journey to anyone whether it's adoption, fostering, sponsorship or birth. This is not to say, we do not deeply appreciate the love and support we have been shown through our process. It means the world to us and helps keep our spirits up in the roller coaster of this journey.

What I have found in all of the talks and questions is that it must be tricky to ask anything about adoption without saying the wrong thing. I watch people really think about how to word something before they ask. We are pretty light hearted so we don't generally get offended easily as we know everyone is just interested. I've read a lot about how to answer questions asked about our adoption and how our child will be exposed to these statements and questions. I thought it would be helpful to post some "What NOT to say or ask statements" and general adoption lingo that's appropriate for adoptive families.

1. "Real" - a simple word, really. But, a very wrong word to use in referring to adoption.

"Who are his/her's REAL parents?" "Do you think you'll have any "real" children or a child of your own?"

We are going to be very open about talking about child's BIRTH parents and any child that comes into our family is REAL and our own.

2. "What you're doing is an amazing thing."

This is a tricky one. This is always said with the best intentions, however I do not think we are hero's, nor are we attainting to be. This implies adoption as a charitable effort and as if adopted children are not as lovable, wanted or brought into our lives and heart as a birth child would be. This wouldn't be said to a couple that just had a child by birth or announce they are expecting.

3. Celebrity adoptions and comparing any international adoption to one - don't do it.

It's a way to build a family and families have been choosing adoption long before the media started covering it.

4. Personal questions

Ah, the good ol' personal questions. Some details of our adoption will stay between us and our child. The sensitivity and privacy is not just ours to consider, but also that of our child's. Things, such as the costs of adoption, are just personal questions. We are happy to discuss and answer any questions as we do not want our child to feel like we do not want to talk about their adoption, but there is a sensitivity and privacy to the issue.

Last thing we want to do is make anyone feel like they can't talk about our adoption or have to over analyze how they are going to talk about it. No need to be defensive here on our part. I just think these are good points throw out there and consider. Like I said before, we understand completely that no one would want to offend or say anything uncomfortable and when it happens, it happens and we'll address it then. Just another part of this adventure and another learning experience under our belt.

Here's to a new year upon us. We wish new experiences, happiness and positivity to all of us in the new year. Happy 2010!

Casey & Josh

Christmas Eve and restless

2009-12-24T06:43:00.004-06:00

6am Christmas Eve morning...couldn't sleep. I've either slept too much the last couple of days or it's the wondering...the what if's...the swarm of thoughts filling my head that woke me up early this morning. I typically need more sleep than anyone I know (I'm talking like a good 10-11 hours would be perfect!), but I can't right now. Hate to say it, hate to think it, but I'm wondering if anything will happen today. If any phone call will come our way. I know I said I wasn't going to hold my breath and I'm not. I'm just innocently wondering. I keep thinking, what is our future child doing right now? He/She (although I'm feeling "he") is alive. Breathing, crying, squirming. I just desperately need a little face to put to all my thoughts. If that little face could come today, that would be simply amazing. Here's to a long day. I'm sure I will be crashed out for a lovely afternoon nap at some point. Happy Holidays to you all!

Some good news

2009-12-14T13:24:00.007-06:00

Josh talked with our agency this morning and we are #2 on the waiting list!! We were told around the first of the year we SHOULD have a referral....maybe, just maybe around Xmas. Wow. We have been worried and concerned with issues that had arisen concerning our agency and I still have a lot of doubt and uncertainty, but we are moving ahead and staying put. We are so close. The owner of the agency is in Ethiopia right now working hands on with the orphanages to make sure things get in order and that the families waiting on the correct paperwork can get that.

We are so excited and can not wait to get this phone call. Having an idea of when helps boost our spirits so much. I'm going to focus on January and not hold my breath for a Xmas referral. I don't want to be disappointed. This way, if it does come early it will be the best Xmas ever.

Over the weekend, I saw photos of the babies in the orphanages our agency works with. Beautiful, beautiful babies and children. I can't wait for them all to find homes. I wonder if we've already seen ours. Such a weird feeling.

By the way, this necklace pictured is available for purchase at http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vt_related_1&listing_id=36981304. I bought one!

A little rambling...

2009-12-07T20:23:00.006-06:00

We did a little browsing this weekend in the baby section at Nebraska Furniture Mart. Just a good idea to get a number of what this is all going to cost. Our plan is to not go baby crazy with getting furniture and gadgets we don't need. I want to keep it as simple as possible.

So, I'm back to the decluttering (yes, we really have/had that much stuff) and we just did a big room rearrangement so we can clear out one of our bedrooms for a baby room. Painting our home office is on the agenda this week. Good thing, as I'll be spending a lot of time at home once we are parents and being able to work at home when I need to is an amazing luxury.

In the middle of all these little home projects, I have been reading. I love reading and for about 5 years I quit reading books altogether. I had gotten so caught up in running a business I never made the time. Now, I find the time and I realize how much I missed out on. Being able to read, escape and draw up images in my mind from someone else's word...I love it! I recently finished, There Is No Me Without You by Melissa Fay Greene.

Let me just say that I fell in love with this book. It's about an Ethiopian woman that opens her heart and home to orphans. This was an emotional read and I cried my way through and felt like I had taken a journey when I was finished. In continuing to read about Africa, I'm onto Say You're One of Them by Uwem Akpan.

This week we are hitting the coldest weather yet for the season. This is when this long winter wait is really annoying. I'm missing spring and summer badly. Evenings of sitting on my porch with a glass of wine or taking the dogs for a walk. I barely can get that in during the winter as it's dark by the time we are home. Oh, spring...you hold so much hope for us. I guess all these home projects couldn't happen at a better time. I need to stay busy so I don't dwell on this wait!

Someday...

2009-11-26T12:30:00.004-06:00

Dear baby(ies),

Someday today will be shared with you. Someday our anticipation will be no more. Someday I will not wake up wondering as my first thought of the day and my last moment before sleep washes over me. Someday I will hold you, squeeze you, kiss you all over. Someday we will remember now and you'll understand how much you are loved and wanted. Someday you will grow up strong and healthy and know and love your country as much as we do. Someday you will ask questions and I will too. Someday you will be here with us. Flesh, bones, smiles, laughter, YOU. Someday will be the most breathtaking, wonderful moments of our lives. Someday we will wonder no more. Someday...we will know.

Past the 6 month mark

2009-11-20T10:19:00.002-06:00

Wednesday marked our 6 month anniversary in our adoption journey. Six months ago we decided to adopt and file paperwork with an agency. Six months later, here we are. Waiting. Just in the right spot as we should be. We were holding our breath on Thursday because when we got on the waiting list, that was Josh's guess of the day we were getting a referral. I think we'll have a referral by Xmas. Or, I should say I HOPE we have a referral by Xmas.

This has been a pretty good week. Feeling more positive than the last couple of weeks. Getting used to the transition of working in the same office as Josh. Our rental house is almost ready to rent out. The sun has been shining this week. I'm feeling pretty calm and collected right now.

The calmness after the storm...

There is a reason for this.

2009-11-11T20:43:00.004-06:00

Exhausted. Overwhelmed. Looking for something...hope? Or, maybe just sleep? Our trip to Boulder was fun, but full of problematic scenarios. Work didn't quite give us a break for those few days. We returned in a daze and with desperation to make some necessary changes to save our sanity...and our business.

Last Wednesday, while we were on our trip, Josh asked me to give up my office that my marketing team works out of (which happens to be a house Josh and I own) and move into his office house to save money for the business. Smart decision as it will save us money in return and we can rent out this house and still make a good investment for us. By Saturday, the move was complete. Thank GOD for the amazing family of co workers we have. We are so grateful for these people and for jumping in at the last minute to help with the move. This was hard for me. Everyone who knows me knows I like my space. I have a very set way of decorating and arranging my world so that I can be productive and creative. Letting go of this office space was the end of an era. Now, we're working back in the same office. Just like the beginning. Just like how we met and became us. I do have to say, it makes me nostalgic and excited at the same time to have a new era beginning. This is good. I could use something fun right now. Fun hasn't been the theme the last few days. This week we had to let go or drastically cut back about 1/2 of our employees and let me just say that we have about 15 employees so this took a huge chunk out of our team. This is personal. This is like family. This hurts. We don't want to let anyone down. We tried to do everything we could to avoid this. Now, we are another statistic of this freakin' economy downslide. I have been sad about this, mad about this, distraught about this, depressed about this and just plain pissed off about this. I know I need to have faith this will turn around. Come spring, I'm sure we'll have the business back and we can slowly bring everyone back into the fold...I think...I hope. I want to stop thinking about it. I want Josh to stop stressing about it and be able to sleep at night. Small business world. So different than the corporate world. So much more personal.

So, the last 5 days have been work during the day and get our other house ready to rent out after work.

I've been following the adoption online groups this week and seeing some serious problems with families getting stuck in the adoption bureaucratic madness of paperwork. So many children that families are waiting on to come home are not "paper ready" which basically means more waiting, more stress, more tears and more insanity for those families. I'm getting discouraged by reading these posts but I'm also seeing the strength that one has to take on in an international adoption process. I know we'll take each step as it comes as we have no other choice, but in the mist of our personal chaos in other aspects of our lives this just feels like another beat down. Maybe it's just this week, maybe it's just this day, but I definitely need to see a little face very soon to put some of my anxiousness at ease. Or perhaps, I should find the time to turn all of this off for a few days and just live. Quite checking on the adoption. Reach out to the numerous friends I've faded away from recently. If any of you are reading this, I apologize. I've just put my head down and haven't looked up and tried to jump over the hurdles that have come our way recently. I wish I was better at reaching out right now, but I'm just hibernating to get my soul back up to par.

The world works in mysterious ways and I'm just floating through them right now knowing that how this is going to happen is how it's going to happen and there is a reason for that. A very important life changing reason. Our child.

Ahh..Boulder

2009-11-03T13:33:00.009-06:00

So, we hit the road this week and headed to one of our favorite places...Boulder, Co. A few days away is just what we needed to exhale and put in some good self exploration and thinking time.

Maybe someday we'll make our way to a home here...we'll see. In the meantime, just enjoying the last few months of just the two of us.

Coffee fundraiser

2009-10-27T10:28:00.005-05:00

A family that I've met in Lawrence that is also adopting from Ethiopia is raising money for their adoption by selling coffee.

http://www.justlovecoffee.com/TheLovins

Coffee is the biggest export out of Ethiopia so this ties in nicely with adopting from this country.

If you read the About info on this company, the guy who owns it also adopted from Ethiopia.

http://www.justlovecoffee.com/about.htm

I love this idea and just had to share! I will definitely be purchasing my coffee here.

You can also purchase just one bag one time if you click on the image of the coffee you want and ignore the membership portion at the top.

Happy coffee drinking!

A little practice never hurt anyone

2009-10-25T14:00:00.003-05:00

This weekend we have taken on an adventure. My niece and nephews have stayed with us. We've had them since 4:46pm (exactly :) on Friday and they will be going back this evening. Normally, we only take them for 1 night at a time, but we were up for the challenge of a 6, 8 and 11 year old all weekend. Well, technically we only had Jake (11) for 1 night. Generally, I'm ready for them to hustle out the door when my sister picks them up. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore them, but in the past I'm just ready for "ME" time again much sooner after a night with the kiddos. This time around it's different. In all my preparation to become a parent, I've just naturally accepted this weekend as real life. A big "WHAT IF?" Being older it's much easier as they can keep themselves busier than an infant would, but I've found this weekend to be a delight. Yes, a delight. I've answered about 536 questions on every topic imaginable. Then, sit back and giggle as they come up with their own answers.

I would have to say that given the situation, if we get referred more than 1 child, we could and would definitely do this. My niece and nephews make me enjoy the little moments more. Take yesterday for example. A day out at the dog park. A 2 hour adventure in nature. We hiked, we jumped over mud pits, we climbed rocks, caught frogs...just stopped living any other moment than what was happening. Right then, right there. There I was sitting on the rocks by the water, the sun warming my face and the sounds of them..."Look I caught another one!" It was a glimpse into my future. A glimpse that made me forget about work, about a messy house, about email and ReLive products...just a sunny Saturday afternoon and I loved every moment of it. Every.

Deep in thought

2009-10-18T19:10:00.003-05:00

Confused. Deep in thought. Biting my lip. This is how I'm spending my Sunday evening. I just read some posts on our Yahoo group from other families with our agency. So many are waiting to bring their children home. They got referrals quickly, but then spend months and months waiting to bring them home. The court system is getting slower and is bombarded right now after being closed for a few months. They are hearing court cases in no particular order, which means all the families that had open cases before courts closed in August are not necessarily getting assigned court dates first. Frustrating! We are not at this point yet, but it looks dismal from here.

Some wait for 9+ months only to find out a family member to that child can not be found. Family has to appear in court if the child was relinquished. If not, then at that point, sometimes a child will not be able to be adopted.

I don't want to get caught up in worrying about this now. I want to think about the excitement and positive outcome that will occur from our journey. But today, right now...my forehead is creased with lines.

We think it's a boy

2009-10-12T23:34:00.003-05:00

I think we are getting a boy. THINK. We pretty much thought there was a higher chance for this because there are lots of waiting families for girls, but now I am about 85% sure. But, this is an adoption which means anything goes.

Last week our agency called and wanted to know if we would consider twins with a 5 year old sibling. Umm...WHAT? Luckily, they called Josh at work. I may have just said yes without thinking. He called me and we were both just a bit thrown off. 3 children! As much as I would love to scoop them all up, I know that we couldn't be the best parents to them. Going from zero to 3 at one time... as first time parents?? A bit overwhelming. We had to tell them that's not really what we are capable of parenting right now and we don't want to get in over our heads and not be able to be the best parents we can to them. Let's just say this really really sucked. I felt selfish and well...just wrong to say no. Somehow, they read our home study preference wrong and thought we wanted to adopt a few children at once. Talk about a paperwork mistake!

Anyways, we got everything cleared up and our agency told us that because we are open to a boy or a girl, that they think our wait will go quickly as there are 8 families waiting for a girl...so that's gotta mean less families, maybe considerably less, waiting for either a boy or either gender. A boy...a son. Wow.

My nesting is actually turning out to be quite a productive activity for the Hunt household. Everything is finding a place, a need and if not then it's being donated. I would even donate "the evil cat" if Josh wouldn't notice he was missing. Okay, okay...he is kind of (and I'm really stressing kind of) growing on me. I moved my ReLive business to my house this weekend so that I can be set up at home and be near my family when I'm working on my products and orders (although I must admit I would like to be working on a LOT more orders). Looks like next up will be a bathroom remodel (on a tight budget I might add) and then the baby's room once we get a referral.

Ethiopian courts opened today after the close for the rainy season! I'm excited to start seeing a lot of families getting court dates and passing. I'm seeing so many families not passing court the first few times and even going into 3, 4 and 5 times before passing! The online adoption community is becoming my strength and guidance needed to keep me balanced during this wait. I hope and pray that we get a referral before the end of 2009. I'm shooting further out there in hopes we get one soon. Very soon.

Spinning with questions

2009-10-05T20:47:00.007-05:00

I think I'm "nesting." I want to rearrange, organize, get rid of stuff we don't use...get MORE space! Granted, I've always been a little (or a lot) like this. I would rearrange my bedroom as a girl until I moved furniture around so much it would barely stay together. This went on as a teen, in college and so forth.

Now, I'm looking around our house imagining where everything is going to go. And, there's so much to do! So many home projects that need to actually come to life. Now is the time. The time to jump on this before we have a little one. Ah...I wish we could take off a month and do all these little projects now before we bring someone new home.

I do suppose all these things will keep us busy. And, I need busy. I need something to take my mind off of the wondering and the flow of questions that constantly surround us. When are we going to get a referral? How long will it take to get a court date? How many times will we have to go through court before we pass? How long will we wait to travel? And HER??? Who is SHE? What's her story? What will lead her to give up her baby? Does she know right now...right at this moment... that this is what she or her family will decide? Will we meet? I find myself always wondering about her. This person, this family. This woman that will change so many lives forever.

I'm checking our Yahoo adoption group several times a day. I want to see other families getting referrals...something that gives me HOPE that ours is coming soon. Yes, we have not been on the list even a month yet, but we really have felt we would be oh-so fortunate and have a short wait. I better get this waiting thing mastered. My heart goes out to the families I'm reading about that have waited weeks, months and years. I could not even imagine.

I love these!

2009-09-18T14:21:00.006-05:00

I can not wait to purchase these headphones and put them on our little wee one! They look so adorable.

So much to plan...

2009-09-14T17:27:00.002-05:00

So, here I am. Working. As I always do. Imagining what it will be like to try to pull this off with a little one pulling on my arm. When I think about it, it truly does amaze me how women raise families, manage households, be a wife and have a career. And the same for fathers!

I've got the career part down. Check and then check again. Two companies and feeling pretty successful with what I've done with my career.

Household Management. Check. Although, I must admit I am not alone in that job role.

Throw in a baby...and I'm surrendering. I am overwhelmed by what that means for me. How do I do it all? Well, I simply don't. I'm making myself get into the mindset of stepping back and doing what I can with my career while I take a new path in life as a mother. I look forward to more peaceful days of walking in the park and sitting on the porch rocking our baby.

How do you not loose yourself while being the best mother you can be? I think parents shape the life of every human being. Your goals, motivations, morals...for the most part laid out by your parents. We are not the average couple. We don't clock in and clock out. We take those late night phone calls when something at a show goes wrong, when someone is not on the guest list and is freaking out about it or when a band is about ready to walk and not play their set. I don't necessarily want to throw that away. I want a break from it, yes. But, it is my life. It is OUR life together. And I do enjoy it. I just don't enjoy HOW much it runs my life now. I suppose there will be times when we are toting around a toddler at a show. Just hopefully, he/she won't turn into a groupie. :)

And we are officially WAITING

2009-09-09T15:40:00.002-05:00

We just got put on the Waiting List today! I can't believe how fast that was from finishing our paperwork. I am in shock. And, all of a sudden...terrified! It's happening so fast.

yea!!

My favorite...

2009-09-08T15:01:00.002-05:00

My favorite new poem:

"Never forget for a single minute you didn't grow under my heart, but in it. Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone, but still miraculously My Own."

-author unknown